Wednesday, February 16, 2011

All in a Day: Spending Time with Husbands

Today's topic is Spending Time with our Husbands.

I'm not going to gloss over the fact that this can be a challenge when you have a large family!!!  There are so many demands on our time, our energy, and the budget . . .  and it just doesn't come easy!  It is often hard to get away for the evening, let alone a long weekend or more . . . . but there are ways to make it happen!

Back when we had a house full of young children, my husband and I rarely went anywhere alone together.  For one thing, we weren't willing to leave our children with just anyone, and most typical babysitters were overwhelmed by the prospect of watching a house full of stair-step children!  On top of that, it made a pretty expensive evening by the time we paid for a babysitter plus dinner out, etc.

Eventually, we found an amazing babysitter, and were able to enjoy some much-needed date nights!  She was homeschooled herself and had four younger brothers.  So, she wasn't scared of a few rough and tumble boys!  We trusted her; she could drive to our house; the children loved her -- it was a perfect situation -- until she had the "audacity" to go and get married!!!  ;)  Now, she has her own precious family and is a Model Mom!

Then, when our oldest daughter was about 12 or 13, she started babysitting for us for short periods of time.  We were blessed to have two daughters at the head of the pack, both of whom were very mature for their ages, very responsible, and good with the children -- so we were able to get out more once they grew old enough to babysit.  I usually took the baby with me, as I nursed exclusively, and it made it easier for the girls not to have to worry about managing a fussy baby.

Throughout our baby years, it never failed that hubby and me would be out with the baby, and someone would invariably ask if that was our only child!  :D   It was always fun to tell them how many brothers and sisters were back home!  I learned to carry a family photo as Proof!  :)

Even though it was hard to get away by ourselves back when all the children were little, at least we could put them all to bed early and squeeze in some alone time!  :)   Now days that is no longer an option!  Even though my husband is "the new 30", I'm still plain old 48 and find it harder and harder to stay up late!!!  At the same time, most of those cute little children are gone, and our house has been mysteriously filling up with teens and college students who have morphed into night owls!!   So, it is nearly impossible for us to stay up later than the kids to find quiet time together!

Another problem is there is often a line of kids waiting to talk to me -- either in person, on the house phone, or on my cell phone!  My poor husband often has trouble getting a word in edgewise!  Since he is naturally quieter and more reserved, he usually just gives up if he has to battle for my attention.

So, we find that we often have to get away to talk!!  We may attend one of our son's basketball games "alone" together, run some errands, do our bulk grocery shopping, etc.  One popular solution for us has been the coffee shop date!  Starbucks has been one of the places we frequent in order to carry on an uninterrupted conversation these past few years.  It is inexpensive, close by, and the perfect setting for conversation and coffee!

We've also discovered that our schedules have become even busier through the years, as the kids have gotten older and more involved with activities outside the home.  The past few years we have had to navigate the job and sports schedules of our older sons, which have been quite demanding at times!  In addition, my husband has always had a very busy work schedule with many night meetings, but he is busier than ever these days.  His days are Non-stop! With all this busyness and our overflowing schedules, we have found it helpful to schedule planning dates.  Starbucks works well for these too.  We pick a quiet spot and grab our planners and sit down and compare shedules and write in commitments and make sure we are "on the same page."

Occasionally, we manage to get away for a long weekend.  That was easier when our older daughters were still at home.  My husband travels a good bit for his job, and I have been able to accompany him from time to time.  I used to go with him when he had conferences in Hilton Head Island, SC and Saint Simons Island, GA.  I always enjoyed taking along books and homeschool stuff and would often sit in the room and read or plan while he was in his meetings.  Then, we would go out to dinner together in the evenings, and if it was a coastal location, we were usually able to enjoy the beach for a day or two before we had to return home.

This picture was taken last January when we managed a weekend getaway to Calloway Gardens.

And this picture was taken last May when we were headed out to dinner for our 27th anniversary.

Now it's time for you to drop by the following All in a Day bloggers and see how they manage to spend time with their husbands:

Carrie @

Christi @

Elizabeth @

Kathy @

Kristy @

Lori @

Monica @

Renee @

Then come back here and share how you fit in special times with your husband in the Comments section, or link your blog with us.

Here's how it works:

1. Copy and Paste this code to add the All in a Day banner to the top of your post.

2. Copy and paste the list of "All in a Day Bloggers" into your post.

3. Put your name and a direct link to your blog post into Mr. Linky, below.


brookebrownell said...

i love hearing how everyone does things!

MamaAnt said...

Good ideas! Loved the pics!

Kathy - mom of many said...

Elizabeth, in case no one has ever told you before, you look GORGEOUS in blue. And, honey, your 48 might feel like 48 but you look like the new "30." I'd say that getting away makes you younger.

Happy Busy Mama said...

I love these pics of you and your sweetie. Now we have to keep planning the couples get away, hopefully while we are young enough to enjoy it, lol.

tlmalcolm said...

Lately we have plenty of time together. Empty Nest for the most part! Now we try to figure out how to have dates with the adult children!! When they were young you tried to schedule time to be alone together now we have to schedule time to get together with the children!!

Baby Blessings said...

I can relate to the night owls! I think it was easier when mine were all small and went to bed early. Now I have teenagers that want to stay up and talk at night all the way down to a nursing baby that I know is probably going to wake me up!
I found your blog from Kathy mom of many. I have enjoyed reading the posts ya'll are doing!

Donna G. said...

Your clothes in the top photo are adorable!!! (Not on topic, I know.)

mommyx12 said...

Great post. Again. It is difficult isn't it? Is it too late for me to share my stories on grocery shopping. I've thought about it but can't seem to swing it. Maybe I should make a blog post about how to find time to make a blog post!! I do have scheduled ones that will go well into March that I did several weeks ago but lately life has gotten out of control.

Donna G. said...

Let me rephrase my comment . . . YOU look adorable in those clothes in the top photo. That's what I meant to say. =)

busymomof10 said...

Kathy and Donna -- THANK YOU for your sweet, encouraging comments! :) I do get more compliments in blue than any other color! :) I guess it is because of my blue eyes -- which is one of the first things my hubby said to me when he met me -- 29 years ago! But that would be a post for another day . . . . ;)

busymomof10 said...

mommyx12 -- I would love to hear your grocery shopping stories Whenever you have Time! Just leave a comment in my grocery post, because Mr. Linnky should be closed then. I TOTALLY understand about having things you want to post and not finding time to blog! I think you do a remarkable job!

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