Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Are you a Crown or a Cancer??

I was on my way into the grocery store, lost in my own thoughts, when my attention was hijacked by the shocking scene unfolding in front of me.

A scowling woman with her arms full of groceries, angrily shoved a couple bags into the backseat of a waiting car, while loudly snarling these hateful words to the unseen passengers in her vehicle:

"You lazy, ungrateful, good-for-nothing ______!  You never do anything to help me!"

I was quite disturbed by the way she was speaking to her children.  Then, as my path drew closer to the vehicle, I realized with horror that these hateful, belittling words were actually directed towards her husband!!

Obviously, I know absolutely nothing of this couple except for this one ugly snapshot that I witnessed; however, I confess that I was totally appalled to hear a woman speak to her husband in such an insulting, demeaning manner!  You see, I've been thoroughly trained both by teaching and example that a wife should never speak to her husband in such a disrespectful way, and honestly, I wouldn't dream of talking to my husband like that!! 

These verses from Proverbs flashed across my mind:

"It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house."  (12:9)

"It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."  (12:19)

I continued to contemplate what I had seen as I got a shopping cart and began to pick up the items on my list.  My mind was not on my grocery shopping, but on the scene I had just witnessed.  My swirling thoughts settled on this verse:

"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." -- Ephesians 5:33 

I know what you're thinking -- that this man was almost certainly not loving and cherishing his wife or she wouldn't have attacked him like that.  I won't argue that point -- he may have been everything she accused him of being -- and more.  However, let me ask you something -- do you think that this husband will be more or less inclined to love and cherish his wife after that belittling tirade???

The Bible teaches in 1 Peter chapter 3 that an ungodly husband will not be changed by his wife's many words, but rather without a word by her godly behavior!  It doesn't seem logical, but God's ways are not our ways!

What does it mean to reverence our husbands??  Since this concept may seem old-fashioned to some, is no longer popular or politically correct, and only rarely properly modeled in our society today, you may have no idea what it means to reverence your husband!  The Amplified Bible sheds some light on this passage:

" . . . and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband, that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly."

Wow!!!  That's a tall order, isn't it??

I don't know about you, but even though my heart is in the right place, my actions still sometimes lag behind!  Even though I would never speak to my husband the way the woman I chanced to observe did, I still have quite a ways to go to fully live up to the above admonition.

Did you know that while a wife's greatest need is to be loved and cherished, a husband's greatest need is to be respected and honored??

Proverbs 12:4 says, "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."

I don't think any wife really wants to be like a cancer, rotting away her husband's bones with her nasty attitude and destructive words!  Don't we all prefer to be a crown of glory to our husbands??? 

So, let's share some practical ways that we can honor and respect our husbands, ways that we can crown them with joy and honor!   Ready, set, go -- storm my comments section with your edifying ideas!!  :)  Let's Bless our husbands!!!


Mrs. Stam said...

Great post! And we ought to respect even when we are not loved... but while respecting and submitting and in prayer God my change a husband's heart :-)

Rachel E. said...

yes, great post. If we were to put ourselves in the husband's shoes, we could ask if he spoke to us that way, would we respond in a loving manner or in kind.

Stephanie said...

We are in a group that is going through the video series "Love and Respect." It's based on the book of the same title and they are both by Emerson Eggerichs. Good stuff.

Kahty said...

That comment from "Stephanie" is actually from me, Kathy. I was signed in as her. Sorry.

Theresa said...

Definately not this womans finest hour, but who knows the hurts and pain she lives with. I work with individuals with mental and developmental disorders. This is what I as a staff have endured from clients. No matter how loving and kind they can be they can also spew venom and hatred.

What this woman said to her husband was callous and hateful. Hopefully one day she will meet the Lord and be changed into a gentle loving wife.

I feel for both sides of that story.

Rebecca's Refining said...

Such a sad story. But, a great reminder to always speak and behave in a manner that reflects Christ. We never know when someone else is watching or listening to us.......and God always is! May Christ only be seen in me! (But, I am afraid too often He isn't!)

Hudsonsix said...

Elizabeth, this is so very true. I'm reminded of two thoughts from Proverbs, "Every wise woman builds her house..." and "She (the virtuous woman) opens her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness." Both verses demonstrate willful, thought out action. How important it is that we as wives use our tongues to build up and not tear down! This is so very difficult to do in our human flesh, but through the power of the Spirit, we can do the seeming impossible!

Joy said...

Thank you for this post! Such a good reminder. God knew exactly what I needed when I needed it. While I would like to believe I would never speak to my husband that way....it is still good to be reminded of this so I can watch my attitude & private speech.

Donna G. said...

Great title, Elizabeth! Thank you for posting this. I can't hear it enough. I do wonder what was up with that man and woman. Wow.

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