Monday, March 19, 2012

Marriage Monday: Created to be His Help Meet


After creating Adam, God stated that it was not good for man to be alone, and he created the solution to this problem -- Eve!

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make an help meet for him."  (Genesis 2:18)
Thus, He created Eve as the compliment, the completer, the helper that man needed to fulfill the tasks that God called him to accomplish on the earth.

What does it mean for the woman to be a helper?  Virginia Fugate explains it this way in her landmark book on biblical womanhood, On the Other Side of The Garden: 

". . . the woman, as helper, is an assistant -- the one who helps to achieve the goals of the one leading.  His goals become her goals.  She cooperatively and effectively assists and renders aid, strengthening the man for his own tasks.  A woman has important work to do.  She should use her intelligence, talents, and abilities in such a way that her efforts give support and encouragement to her man.  This could range from providing a stable, comfortable home to working in her husband's business or to giving moral support of his ministry.  In other words, she helps her husband in whatever capacity he most needs her assistance."  (p. 14)

Of course, I understand that this view of women is politically incorrect in post-Christian America.  Women have been taught to believe that this role is demeaning, old-fashioned, and unfulfilling. They believe they have the right to use their gifts, talents, and abilities to pursue their own goals and ambitions, even if this causes them to compete with their husband's goals and ambitions.  God did not create woman to compete with the man, but to complement and complete the man.

Debi Pearl in her life-changing book, Created to be His Help Meet, explains it this way:

"If you are a wife, you were created to fill a need, and in that capacity you are a "good thing," a helper suited to the needs of a man.  This is how God created you and it is your purpose for existing.  You are, by nature, equipped in every way to be your man's helper.  You are inferior to none as long as you function within your created nature, for no man can do your job, and no man is complete without his wife.  You were created to make him complete, not to seek personal fulfillment parallel to him.  A woman trying to function like a man is as ridiculous as a man trying to be like a woman. A unisex society is a senseless society -- a society dangerously out of order."  (p.21)


Every business, religious and service organization has a hierarchy and an organizational chart showing the chain of command.  There is no indignity in being the Vice-President instead of the President or the Assistant Chairman rather than the Chairman.  Many times the assistant may even be more talented or skilled than the person leading the organization or company.  However, that person should still respect the office of the "president" and use his or her skills to assist the president and help make the organization as a whole more successful.  As wives, it should be our goal to assist our husbands in any way possible and to help them be successful in their jobs or ministries, as well as working to create successful marriages and families.

Debi Pearl helps us understand our divine calling:

"God made you to be a help meet to your husband so you can bolster him, making him more productive and efficient at whatever he chooses to do.  You are not on the board of directors with an equal vote.  You have no authority to set the agenda.  But if he can trust you, he will make you his closest advisor, his confidante, his press secretary, his head of state, his vice-president, his ambassador, his public relations expert, maybe even his speech writer -- all at his discretion."  (p. 23)

She then challenges us with this thought-provoking question:
If God created a special woman, perfectly suited to be your husband's helper, would you be that woman? 

Think about it -- what kind of help does your husband need?  How are you helping him in his work or ministry? How are you helping him create the kind of family he desires?  How are you hindering him?  Please share your insights!

Your Turn to Share 

Every Monday, I plan to explore some aspect of marriage here on my blog.  I invite you to share your past or present marriage-related blog posts, as well.  Please link up with me by entering the URL of your specific blog post in the Mr. Linky below, and make sure you grab my blog button and add it to your post!  (Just copy the HTML code under my button and paste it into your blog post.)  It's that simple!  (If you don't want to copy my blog button, just insert a direct text link to my blog.  That works too!!)

I also welcome your comments!  My blog has been awfully quiet lately, so be sure to speak up and share your thoughts!


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Gina said...

Very good!

busymomof10 said...

Thanks Gina!

busymomof10 said...

Here are some of the ways I Help my husband:

* I educate his (our) children
* I make sure he has clean underwear! ;)
* I make sure he has nicely pressed shirts so he looks professional
* I make delicious meals for him most days

Far Above Rubies said...

Thanks for your comment. I left a post on 10 things a husband needs to know about his wife.


busymomof10 said...

Thanks Jasmine! :)

tlmalcolm said...

The best thing a dad can do for his children is to love their mother deeply! I always loved that saying.

Julianne said...

I just finished reading Debi Pearl's book a couple of weeks ago and it truly was life-changing - such a beautiful and great message!

busymomof10 said...

Thanks Terri and Julianne for reading and sharing your thoughts! Feedback is always appreciated!

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