Monday, April 9, 2012

Marriage Monday: Your Husband's Greatest Need


Do you know what the greatest need of your husband is?  

Unlike a woman, whose greatest need is to feel loved and cherished, a man's greatest need is to feel respected and admired.

The Bible address the unique needs of men and women with the following command: 

"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."  ~ Epheisans 5:33

To really get the full impact of this verse, read it slowly in the Amplified version: 

"However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]."

Wow!  That's a tall order, isn't it?

Many times, women make the mistake of showing love to their husbands by trying to take care of them and mothering them; however, most, if not all, husbands prefer to be treated with respect and honor and admiration.

Think about it. Do you tend to mother your husband, telling him what he should and shouldn't do, trying to put him on a diet, reminding him to wear a coat, correcting him when he does something wrong, etc??  Or, do you treat your husband with honor, respect, admiration, and deference?  There is a big difference between the two approaches, and the second one will get you far more mileage!

Have you noticed that our society as a whole looks down on men and masculine qualities, while elevating women as smarter and wiser, more refined and civilized, and better able to handle any number of situations? (Think of just about any sitcom or movie -- the men tend to be portrayed as bumbling idiots while the women always save the day!)

Masculine qualities are very out of vogue these days and little boys are being routinely de-masculinized from the time they enter school, if not before.  Please take the time to read this outstanding article by Kelly Crawford of Generation Cedar.  Then come back and leave me a comment, telling me what you think of her article, or sharing your thoughts on how we have stripped men of their masculinity, and what we as Christian women can do about it.

Take Action:  Treat your husband with respect and honor today!  Be ready to praise him for his masculine qualities!

Your Turn to Share 

Every Monday, I plan to explore some aspect of marriage here on my blog.  I invite you to share your past or present marriage-related blog posts, as well.  Please link up with me by entering the URL of your specific blog post in the Mr. Linky below, and make sure you grab my blog button and add it to your post!  (Just copy the HTML code under my button and paste it into your blog post.)  It's that simple!  (If you don't want to copy my blog button, just insert a direct text link to my blog.  That works too!!)

I also welcome your comments!  You don't have to agree -- just share your opinion respectfully. 


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Tesha said...

Hi I am so happy you stopped by because I for got to follow you and wanted to! I have not written many post on marriage I just started my blog when Jonathan our sixth was stillborn. I am happy to gain wisdom for a mommy of many, I will have to pass along your blog to my SIL a mom of many also. Great post I defiantly need to work on respect.

busymomof10 said...

Thanks Tesha! I got a kick out of your comment, because you accidentally said, "I defiantly need to work on respect!" LOL!

so glad you found me again! Please share my blog with your SIL! I hope she will come by and visit!

Susan said...

So well said, Elizabeth. Our men so greatly need our affirmation and unconditional respect. I'm so thankful that the Lord brought this to my attention through the Love and Respect Conference that David and I were able to attend years ago. That concept was life-changing for me. Thank you for the reminder and affirmation. And BTW, you are an excellent example of such a wife!

Nicole said...

This is very true- and I think the more we respect our husbands, the more "respectable" they will be- if that makes sense. We reap what we sow. I know a lot of folks would say their spouse doesn't deserve respect/love, etc but the more we give it and give them the opportunity to display those qualities we want to see, the more it is there! Hope that makes sense! :) -Nicole @ Working Kansas Homemaker

busymomof10 said...

Thank you Susan! I appreciate your testimony and was blessed by your words of encouragement! Of course, I TRY to be that kind of wife, but sometimes I fail to live up to my ideals!

And Nicole, I agree whole-heartedly! I think the more we praise and admire and affirm our husbands -- the more they want to live up to that. It's just like when someone praises us for being a great wife or mother -- we are even more motivated to live up to that praise!!

Thanks for taking the time to comment, ladies! :)

viviene said...

That is so true! I've been hearing this and have experienced it myself. The worst line my husband ever told me was...
"With the way you talked to me, I felt disrespected"

Ouch! The lesson hit home. Respect your husband!

busymomof10 said...

wow Viviene! What a painful lesson! Thanks for sharing!!!

Kristen W said...

Hi there- A pastor once told me that a man's greatest DESIRE is to be respected, but his greatest NEED is to be sanctified (become more like Christ). To do this, he must obey the Lord, making his NEED to love his wife. Likewise, a wife desires love, but her need is to respect her husband, and thus become more like Christ.

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