Monday, May 28, 2012

Marriage Monday: Venerating our Husbands {Link Up}

For the past few weeks, we have been considering the greatest need of our husbands -- which is to be respected and admired.  We are learning from Ephesians 5:33:

"However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]."

I really like the way the Amplified version expands our understanding of what it looks like to respect our husbands.  Over the next few weeks, I plan to define and consider each of these words, one at a time.  Last week we focused on the word "prefer."  This week, we are moving on to the word "venerate."

Venerate is not a word that we use a lot today.  When I looked it up in the dictionary, I discovered that it means "to regard or treat with reverence."  So, I looked up reverence.  It is defined as "a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe; veneration."  That took us full circle, didn't it??  ;)

So, how do we venerate, reverence, and respect our husbands?  

Because our culture has unfortunately lost the concept of respect, it makes it harder to really grasp how to show respect for someone.  Perhaps it would help to imagine how we would treat the President of the United States if he were coming to visit us.  Even if we greatly dislike him as a person and vehemently disagree with his policies and believe he is destroying our country, I still think we would clean house from top to bottom, put on our favorite clothes, prepare a special meal and serve it on our best dishes, give him the best seat in the house, and speak to him respectfully, even if we disagreed with everything he said.  The bottom line is we would treat him with a proper degree of respect due to his position.  This illustrates how we can demonstrate respect for our husbands, even if we don't happen to like or agree with everything they do.

To help us understand how to show respect, I'm going to list ten specific things we should do and ten specific things we shouldn't do to demonstrate respect and reverence to our husbands.

10 Things We Should Do to Demonstrate Respect to Our Husbands: 

1.  Be kind and considerate in all we do.
2.  Speak to them in a gentle and kind tone of voice.
3.  Serve them in love.
4.  Encourage them and build them up.
5.  Compliment them.
6.  Express gratitude for the things they do for us.
7.  Encourage their leadership skills.
8.  Dress to please them.
9.  Listen attentively to them when they talk.
10. Speak well of them to others.

10 Things we Should Avoid Doing to Demonstrate Respect to Our Husbands:

1.  Don't correct them (especially in front of others).
2.  Don't criticize the way they do things.
3.  Refrain from offering unsolicited advice.
4.  Avoid nagging and repeated reminders.
5.  Refrain from sharing their shortcomings with others.
6.  Resist the urge to always have to have the last word.
7.  Resist the desire to always have to be right.
8.  Don't belittle them or make fun of them (especially in public).
9.  Don't roll our eyes when we think they are being ridiculous.
10. Refrain from always offering a better way of doing things.

What can you add to either of these lists??  How have you learned to respect your husband?  What have you learned to avoid??  How has your husband responded to your veneration of him?  Please share!!

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog by copying and pasting the code for my blog button in your post or by simply linking back to my blog.  


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Meghan Carver said...

Ouch! Why do we women always think we do everything the right way, especially when it comes to family and home? Thanks (I think) for the reminder!

Kate @ Teaching What Is Good said...

Excellent post! Our culture, and even the church, encourage "dissing" husbands. It's no wonder so many men fear the place of authority and leadership in the home God calls them to.

When WE fulfill our God-given role to venerate our husbands, we help to be a TRUE and HONEST helpmate -- by being their #1 support to walk into who God has them to be.

Thanks for sharing this. Coming from Marital Oneness.

Heather said...

Excellent post! I'm going to try to go do some of that right now! Thank you for the inspiration!

What Joy Is Mine said...

Elizabeth...this one was real good. I think your lists are right on and I don't think I can add anything more. But I do know that when I am building my husband up, he is a better man for it. Thank for this study and for sharing at WJIM.

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