Monday, June 4, 2012

Marriage Monday: Esteeming our Husbands {Link Up}

For the past few weeks, we have been considering the greatest need of our husbands -- which is to be respected and admired.  We are learning from Ephesians 5:33:

"However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]."

I really like the way the Amplified version expands our understanding of what it looks like to respect our husbands.  I have been examining each word in the passage one at a time in order to gain a more in-depth understanding.  Last week we focused on the word "venerate."  This week, we are moving on to the word "esteem."

According to the online dictionary: 

esteem means to regard highly or favorably, to regard with respect or admiration, to consider of value.

According to the Scriptures, we are all commanded to esteem others:
"Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself." (Philippians 2:3 NKJV) 

When we encourage, praise, and admire our husbands, when we value their opinions and trust their leadership, we esteem them.  

Because God has created men with a great need to be respected and admired by their women, it is especially important that we as wives esteem our husbands.  If we don't, they will be vulnerable to other women who do show them esteem. 

Many times women think, "My husband has such a huge ego now, why should I esteem him and admire him and build him up even more??"  However, the wise woman will realize that the male ego is a fragile thing, and men often act "big" to cover up how small and inadequate they really feel on the inside.  They are torn down everyday when they go out into the dog-eat-dog world, and it is our job to build them up each evening when they come home.

I recently read in a bible study for women that a man's two greatest fears are of being inadequate and of being controlled by a woman.  How interesting!

When we treat our husbands with respect, letting them know how much we admire them and how we value their leadership and their wisdom, it boosts their confidence and helps them lead more wisely.  It also reassures them of our commitment to letting them be in control.

But what if our husbands have qualities that aren't admirable or worthy of esteem?  We will discuss that more in future posts, but for now, I suggest adjusting your view.  Try your "macro setting" -- focus in on their positive qualities and let their negative qualities fade into the background.

Your Turn to Share:

How do you esteem your husband??  Please share!

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog by copying and pasting the code for my blog button in your post or by simply linking back to my blog.  

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Wendy said...

There is so much good advice / wisdom in these posts... thank you for sharing such sound advice.

Wendy @ ECTaS

fanta4two said...

great writeup! I love what youve written on here. Another way we can esteem our men, if they are daddys is to treat them extra special this daddy's day!
I've written up a post about it on my blog, would love for you to visit at

have a blessed day,

krissydawn16 said...

It always amazes me how God can speak to us through others who don't even know it. This message has been coming at me from all directions lately! ~Kristen @ Trial & Error Homemaking

Susan Godfrey said...

Fantastic post! I know this is something I struggle with at times and so it's a fresh reminder to me.

I would love it if you would share this post on the Feminine Friday Link-Up! I really think my readers will enjoy it!

Susan Godfrey
Finding Beauty -

Lindsay Harold said...

You are so right that we should esteem our husbands. It should be a priority. It's something I do my best to do on a regular basis and it has really helped our marriage.

busymomof10 said...

Thanks Ladies for your positive feedback! Don't worry -- these posts convict me too and focusing on this topic for the last few weeks has helped me to be more aware of my shortcomings and is encouraging me to be a better wife! Even those of us committed to being a godly, respectful wife can have blind spots that need revealed!!

What Joy Is Mine said...

Elizabeth...again, great encouragement! I find in reading this study you're doing that I do need to work on some things to be a better wife to my Love. Thank for sharing this at WJIM.

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