Monday, June 25, 2012

Marriage Monday: Loving Our Husbands {Link up|

Marriage Mondays"

For the past few weeks, we have been considering the greatest need of our husbands -- which is to be respected and admired.  We are learning from Ephesians 5:33:
"However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]."

I really like the way the Amplified version expands our understanding of what it looks like to respect our husbands.  I have been examining each word in the passage one at a time in order to gain a more in-depth understanding.  Last week we focused on the word "praise."  This week, we are moving on to the word "love."

According to the online dictionary love means:
  • to have a great attachment to and affection for
  • to have passionate desire, longing and feelings for
  • to like or desire something very much
  • to have a strong liking for, to take great pleasure in
  • to need or desire, to benefit greatly from
Wow!  That was insightful!  Now I understand why so many marriages end up in the ditch when couples say they no longer love one another!!

True Love is more than an emotion! It is an act of the will!  It is not about getting, but about giving!!!

It sure makes it easier to love our husbands when we feel great affection, strong like, passionate desire, and great fondness for them!  But, that won't always be the case in any marriage!  There will sometimes be hours, days, weeks, even months when loving one another is a challenge.  It is during those times, when we don't feel especially loving, that our commitment carries us through!

To understand what Love really means, read 1 Corinthians chapter 13.  I encourage you to read the entire chapter, even if you think you know what it says. God's Word is timeless and powerful and will speak to us right where we need it!  We are continually pulled into the world's philosophies of love, and need to have our minds renewed about what true christian love is all about!  For the purposes of this post, I will just share verses 4 through 8:

Love suffers long and is kind;
love does not envy;
love does not parade itself,
is not puffed up; 
does not behave rudely,
does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
thinks no evil; 

does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never fails.

That, my friends, is a real definition of the type of love that we are to show our husbands. It is the agape love with which God loves us, and we are commanded to love others, including our husbands!  

We are also commanded to demonstrate phileo love to our husbands.  (See Titus 2:3-4.)  This is a tender affection or kindness that we display towards our husbands by treating them with kindness, compassion, gentleness, and understanding and by cultivating kind thoughts towards them.

However, we must take our love for our husbands to an even deeper level.  The love between a husband and wife must also include eros love.  Debi Pearl, in her landmark (and controversial) book, Created to be His Help Meet, says, "A man's most basic needs are warm sexual love, approval and admiration."  She goes on to say that, "God created a man with a regular need for a woman, and God commanded a man's wife to see to it that his need is met by her."  Barring any true physical conditions or health situations that would make this impossible, this is part of a wife's responsibility as a biblical help meet to her husband!  She must take care to cultivate this type of love for her husband!
Marriage means becoming one flesh.  It does not mean being best friends.  ~ Debi Pearl

Wow!  Loving our husbands is a pretty tall order isn't it??  Obviously, it will require us to go beyond the infatuation and immature love that initiated our relationship and cause us to rely on God's grace to enable us to deny our own selfishness and put our husband's needs, desires, and preferences above our own, not just for a moment, but for a lifetime! 

Your Turn to Share:

How do you actively love your husband??  How have you seen your love grow deeper through the years as you've matured and learned to put your selfishness aside and put one another's needs ahead of your own?   Please share!

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog by copying and pasting the code for my blog button in your post or by simply linking back to my blog.  



linked up with these fabulous blogs:


The Alabaster Jar

Two Shall Become One

Blog Button Final

Growing Home


Beholding Glory


Mandy Savings said...

Thanks for the link up!!

Gail Purath said...

Thanks for inviting me to link up my marriage post. I haven't visited your blog before so I'll be taking a longer look. Thanks, Gail

Jolene Engle said...

Elizabeth, this is an excellent post! Being a Godly wife is a tall order and that's why I believe it is our first ministry; whether he is saved or not! Thanks for linking this up with The Alabaster Jar!

Jenni said...

This post is very timely for me. I just started reading "Love and Respect" yesterday. :)

Love Is A Verb - an action said...

What an encouraging post, I couldn't agree more! I love that you even touched on the sex topic...sooo needs more attention in marriages today. Thank you for your encouragement. PS - I accidentally posted a link twice. It didn't post (on my computer) the first time, so I changed the "name" and sent...and then saw they both posted...sorry.

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