Monday, July 9, 2012

Marriage Monday: Admiring Your Husband {Link up}

Marriage Mondays"

For the past few weeks, we have been considering the greatest need of our husbands -- which is to be respected and admired.  We are learning from Ephesians 5:33:
"However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]."

I really like the way the Amplified version expands our understanding of what it looks like to respect our husbands.  I have been examining each word in the passage one at a time in order to gain a more in-depth understanding.  Last week we focused on the word "love."  This week, we are moving on to the word "admire."

According to the online dictionary admire means:
  • to regard with esteem, respect, approval, or pleased surprise
  • to express admiration
Admiration is so crucial to a man, yet it is lacking in many marriages.  When was the last time you heard a woman express admiration for her husband??  When was the last time you admired your own husband?? The vital importance of admiration is powerfully expressed in this quote from Helen Andelin in her book, Fascinating Womanhood --

Deep in his heart every man longs for admiration of his manliness -- his masculine skills, abilities, achievements, ideas, dreams, and manly body.  He hungers for it as for bread. Just as you need love, he needs admiration.  In fact, the center of a woman's happiness in marriage is to be loved -- but the center of a man's is to be admired.  
Although admiration is all-important to a man, it isn't something he can get for himself.  It must be given him by those who respect and love him.  He likes receiving it from any and every source, but especially from the woman he loves. The woman who can pass over his human frailities and discover things to genuinely admire, things which others fail to notice or appreciate, is a woman to be treasured.  It is such a woman who wins his deepest and most tender affection.  As she gives him admiration, he returns love. 

This is how it works -- if you long for your husband to love you, to cherish you, to treat you tenderly, then start respecting, honoring and admiring your husband!

Admiration is one of the keys to safeguarding your marriage, as well.  Because men have such a great need for admiration and because they are generally so starved for it, this may be their greatest area of vulnerability.  The sole purpose of Proverbs chapter 7 is to warn young men about the ways of immoral women and to expose their wiles.  Pay attention to verse 21:  "With her enticing speech she caused him to yield, With her flattering lips she seduced him."  The seductress knows the power of admiring the man she desires!  Do we??

Knowing what to admire is also important.  If we admire our husbands only for traits which are common to both men and women, or for traits that are generally valued by women, such as sensitivity, politeness, and orderliness, our efforts will fall short.

What a man wants more than anything else is for you to admire his manly qualities!

To awaken a man's feelings of tender affection, we must learn to notice, appreciate, and admire his masculine qualities.  These include:
  • His masculine body:  Be sure to admire his manly build, strong muscles, deep voice, full beard, and his strength and endurance whenever it is displayed.
  • His masculine skills and abilities:  Notice and praise his physical and mental skills and abilities that enable him to succeed in his field of work or on the athletic "field."
  • His masculine achievements:  Praise him for winning awards or a championship, for succeeding in a manly endeavor, for earning promotions, raises or bonuses, or for any manly achievement.
  • His masculine goals and dreams:  Honor his goals, dreams, and desires for success in both his career and his hobbies.  (Never make fun of them, even if they seem impossible to you!) 

If you are not in the habit of admiring your husband, it may feel awkward at first, but with practice, it will soon come naturally!  When learning to admire your husband, just make sure you play by the rules, or you may be "disqualified!"

Rules for Admiring Your Husband:
1. Be sincere.
2. Be specific.
3. Accept him for who he is (both good and bad).

*Many of the ideas expressed in this post were gleaned from the book, Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin.

Your Turn to Share:

How do you express admiration for your husband??  Have you seen his love and tenderness grow as you have honored and admired him?   Please share!

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog by copying and pasting the code for my blog button in your post or by simply linking back to my blog.  



linked up with these fabulous blogs:


The Alabaster Jar

Two Shall Become One

Blog Button Final

Growing Home


Beholding Glory


Sylvia Phillips said...

hello! I just found you through Marital Oneness Monday! Your post is a needed reminder for me! With a special Kid like ours, it's easy to lose my focus! I'm following you and hope you will check out my blog and follow me back!

Sylvia Phillips said...

I decided to link up this post. thanks for hosting! I'll try to come up with a new post for next week!

Keeper of the Home... said...

This is how it works -- if you long for your husband to love you, to cherish you, to treat you tenderly, then start respecting, honoring and admiring your husband!

Loved this statement! I read a book several years back and it changed my marriage...saved it really! Admiration was one key thing that turned us around.

Just the other day we were talking about things and my husband told me how much he LOVES it that I greet him at the door when he comes home(I've done it for about 7 years now). I thought this act wasn't important and thought it silly that I stop what I'm doing just to go greet him...boy am I glad I didn't give that simple, yet HUGE act of reverence towards my husband welcomes him, helps him relax, makes him feel like a "king" - makes him realize that I appreciate him and adore him...the list can go on!

So Ladies if you are just starting on your "admiration" journey towards your man...greet him at the door!

Greet him with a twinkle in your eye and a grin on your not greet him with anything but!

If you don't have a twinkle in your eye or grin for better ask the Lord to help you...and start being thankful for your husband.

Well, that is my two cents worth...good post!

Gail Purath said...

Hi! Thanks so much for hosting this wedding link up! Gail (Bible Love

busymomof10 said...


So glad you discovered my blog! Thanks for stopping by and for linking up your post!

busymomof10 said...

Keeper of the Home,

Great Feedback!! Thanks for sharing! Confirming testimonies add so much to a blog post!

Elizabeth Spence said...

This is so true! I remember watching an episode of Oprah several years ago where she was interviewing men who had cheated on their wives to find the reasons why they had done so. So many of them said that they felt unappreciated and unadmired by their wives. I thought that was so interesting.

I also think it's important to admire our husbands for things THEY are proud of, not just what we think is good.

Elizabeth@Warrior Wives

busymomof10 said...

Thank you, Elizabeth, for sharing these insights! That is a great point about admiring our husbands fr the things THEY are proud of!!! never thought of that! I was thinking more along the lines of admiring them for things they are insecure about.

fanta4two said...

Good Morning!
I found you through Beholding Glory and am so glad I surfed on in.

YES YES YES to admiring our husbands and what a great reminder for today.

Thanks for taking the time to write this up - its SUCH an important facet to a marriage, and one that is so easily lost with time.


What Joy Is Mine said...

Elizabeth...again...what a great encouragement this study has been. Admiring our husbands is definitely very important in building them up and can be overlooked. Thank you for the reminder and for sharing at WJIM this week.

brad stanton said...

I am sooooo glad u r posting things like this, us men need this kind of help.

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