Monday, August 13, 2012

Marriage Monday: Despising your Husband in Your Heart {Link up!}

Marriage Mondays"

For the past few months, we have been considering the greatest need of our husbands, which is to be respected and admired.  We've defined some synonyms of respect and looked at it from a variety of angles.  Today, I want to look at what can happen when a wife fails to show respect to her husband. 

During our pastor's message Sunday morning, he read 2 Samuel chapter 6.  Although his message was about worshiping with abandonment, what really struck me at the time and has been on my mind ever since, was the total lack of respect that David's wife, Michal, showed to her husband, the King.

In verses 14 and 15, we read about David, who we know was "a man after God's own heart," worshiping and praising the Lord with all of his heart:

Then David danced before the LORD with all [his] might; and David [was] wearing a linen ephod. So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the LORD with shouting and with the sound of the trumpet.  

Then in verse 16, we get a glimpse into Michal's heart:

Now as the ark of the LORD came into the City of David, Michal, Saul's daughter, looked through a window and saw King David leaping and whirling before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart.

That verse is sad to me -- instead of celebrating with her husband and rejoicing  and praising God with him, she despised her husband in her heart!!  Why??  I believe that:
  1. David didn't live up to her expectations. 
  2. He didn't behave in the dignified manner that she thought was proper for  a king. 
  3. He didn't act the way her father did when he was king. 
  4. She was embarrassed in front of her women friends by the way he danced around in his linen ephod.  She was afraid of what they thought about him, which in turn would reflect on her.
  5. She didn't have the kind of relationship with God that he did, and didn't understand why he was praising God with all of his being.  

But this story gets even sadder.  

In the next few verses, we read how David offered sacrifices unto the Lord, gave gifts of food to all the people, and blessed them.  Then, in verse 20, we read about how he heads home to bless his family:

Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, "How glorious was the king of Israel today, uncovering himself today in the eyes of the maids of his servants, as one of the base fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!"
David was feeling jubilant and victorious after successfully bringing home the Ark of the Covenant.  He was "on top of the world" and after blessing the people, he hurried to home to bless his own household. However, before he could get into the palace, he was met by his wife, who had obviously been stewing and simmering for some time.  She didn't even let him get into their chambers, but came out to meet him and express her displeasure with him. You can imagine how her voice dripped with sarcasm, as she said, "How glorious was the king of Israel today . . . . "

Not only did she "rain on his parade," she destroyed her own future.  I'm not sure whether her actions so alienated her from her husband that they were never intimate again, or whether God judged her by closing her womb.  The passage does not say, and I think either is a possibility.  However, we do learn from this passage that her disdain for her husband led to her inability to be blessed with children. 

Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death.
When we despise our husbands in our hearts, when we speak to them with sarcasm and treat them with disdain, we can know we are headed for trouble!  These are symptoms of a root of bitterness.  If we ignore the grace of God that enables us to forgive and to love unconditionally, that root of bitterness will grow into a "crop" of bitterness that doesn't just defile us, it defiles everyone around us! 

Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled. (Hebrews 12:15)

Bitterness always leads to a barren, unfruitful life!  So, if you see any evidence of bitterness in your heart, now is the time to dig it out by the roots!  If you don't, you will not just destroy your own life, but you will defile your husband and children, too!

Your Turn to Share:

Have you overcome bitterness through the grace of God?  I'd love to hear your story!  Please share how God is working in your heart and in your marriage!

If you were blessed or encouraged by this post, please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or other social media sites.  Thank you!

Link up:

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog!  Thanks!


linked up with these fabulous blogs:


The Alabaster Jar

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Growing Home


Beholding Glory


Crystal @ Serving Joyfully said...

This really touched me today! The same topic has been on my heart a lot as well, and I have been studying several situations of women disrespecting their husbands in the Bible. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

Michele said...

Hi! Thanks so much for your kind yet truthful post. Sarcasm is something I struggle with a lot. Honestly, my husband and I both make jokes to each other that are sarcastic and can easily be taken the wrong way. I have felt called recently to show him more respect, so finding this post was a very well-timed blessing.
I linked up to you with my post from Valentine's Day. It is on the topic of romantic expectations. I hope you like it!

busymomof10 said...

Thank you Crystal and Michelle for reading and taking the time to share your thoughts! May the Lord bless both of you as you seek to be a godly, respectful wife! It is a life-long journey for all of us!

Mrs Sarah Coller said...

Thanks for the great reminder! Hope you have a blessed weekend!

Mrs. Sarah Coller

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