Monday, August 6, 2012

Marriage Monday: Teaching Respect to our Daughters {Link up!}

Marriage Mondays"

For the past several weeks, we have been considering the greatest need of our husbands, which is to be respected and admired.  Conversely, our greatest need as wives is to be loved and cherished.  Love and respect are two sides of the same marriage coin -- you don't get one without the other. That means, if a husband wants respect, he doesn't get it by demanding it or barking out orders like a drill sergeant.  He gets it by loving and cherishing his wife.  If a wife wants to be loved and cherished by her husband, she doesn't get it by trying to make him jealous or by whining about his lack of tenderness towards her; she gets it by respecting and admiring her husband.

This is a foundational marriage truth!

Over the last couple weeks, I've been on a little detour, exploring the countryside, so to speak!  :)  Two weeks ago, I explored how this love and respect relationship affects not just the marriage, but the children in the home, as well.  Last week, I looked specifically at how it relates to sons, and today I want to focus on daughters.

Me with my four daughters and one awesome "adopted daughter" at Hilton Head Island, September 2011

I may be the mother of six sons, but I am also the mother of four beautiful daughters!  Roses among the thorns, we like to say!  :)

So, how does the love and respect relationship between a husband and wife affect the daughters in the home?

First of all, it affects their views on men and on marriage and the type of husband they hope to find.  They need to see their mother being loved and cherished and their father being treated with respect.  If this hasn't always been the case in your home, don't despair, because our children also learn volumes from humble repentance and the writing of new chapters!

It also affects the type of wife they will become in the future.  Children learn from what we say, but it is overshadowed by what we do.  We need to ask ourselves if we are modeling the type of wife we hope our daughters will become.  More accurately, we need to ask ourselves if we are modeling the type of wife that GOD wants our daughters to become!!  (This type of wife is clearly outlined in Proverbs 31:10-31, in case you need a refresher!)

I've recently been saddened to hear some young teen girls say things like this:

"When I'm married, I won't iron my husband's shirts!  If he wants them ironed, he can just iron them himself!"

"When I'm married, my husband will have to do the cooking, because I won't have the patience for it!"

"When I'm married, my husband won't tell me what to do!  I'll do as I please!"

I'm especially saddened to hear these statements, because they have come from girls who are being brought up in Christian homes!  Where did these ideas come from?  Ultimately, from the same one who tempted Eve in the garden!  However, I've been thinking about where these girls have picked up these attitudes.  I've identified three likely sources:  from media (the books and magazines they read and the movies and TV shows they watch), from their friends, or sadly, from their own mothers.

I could write an entire post on each of those sources, but my focus today is on the mothers.  Think about it -- what words, attitudes and actions are you transferring to the next generation about what it means to be a godly woman, wife and mother?? Do you communicate joy and gratefulness as you embrace your high calling, or do you drip with discouragement over the daily drudgery of your life?  Are you modeling respect for your husband and men in general, or are you joining the crowd in tearing down, belittling, disrespecting, and disdaining men??  If you're not sure, try listening to your daughters . . .

My precious daughter-in-love surrounded by her bridesmaids, three of which are my beautiful daughters!

Your Turn to Share:

If you have daughters, please share specific ways that you are training them to be godly wives someday.  How do you model biblical womanhood in front of them?  How do you influence both your daughters and their friends to treat men with biblical respect?  Please share!

If you were blessed or encouraged by this post, please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or other social media sites.  Thank you!

Link up:

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog!  Thanks!


linked up with these fabulous blogs:


The Alabaster Jar

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Growing Home


Beholding Glory


Gail Purath said...

Dear have such credibility when you speak about these things. I am in awe of anyone with a family your size. And what you've written here is so true. Our culture is post-Christian, and most of the values we hear/read/see are at war with Biblical values. I have 4 granddaughters and I see so many influences in their lives that draw them away from Biblical values. It scares me at times, but I know that God's grace is greater than the evil we see all around us and the selfishness we have in our own souls. I was raised in a different time when women looked forward to serving their husbands, and the culture supported that calling. That's no longer the case. May God give us all wisdom in influencing our daughters and granddaughters during this time in history. Gail

AbigailDawn said...

Thank you so much for this! I have three little girls and this is a wonderful reminder of how I need to be guiding them and am guiding them even through small things like the ironing of a shirt. Thank you.

Judith said...

This was such a wonderful post. You write and express yourself so well. I look forward to reading your blog. I just found it tonight and find it to be quite a blessing.

Love Is A Verb - an action said...

You are soooo right!!!! My husband & I started rocky, and I had that attitude of "do it yourself" because I came from a women-domineering matriarch family. But God has been so lovingly teaching me how to honor & respect my husband. Now, 13 years later I'm excited to have that passed down to our daughters. Thank you for your encouragement!

Kristen said...

I had that attitude when I first got married. I know it didn't come from my mom's example, but I'd hate to think that my example created a bad attitude in my daughter. I try to compliment my husband daily to build him up.

Sarah Lemp said...

Thank you for this post and for hosting the link-up! You have a lot of great resources on this site :)
All Things with Purpose

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