Monday, September 17, 2012

Marriage Monday: Living with an Unsaved Husband {Link up}

Marriage Mondays"

Welcome back to Marriage Monday!  Last week, I shared a powerful post from Jolene Engle of An Alabaster Jar on What to do if you've lost respect for your husband.  I hope you took the time to read that article!  If not, I encourage you to make time to read it today.  It is a fabulous post!  

One huge issue that causes wives to lose respect for their husbands is when the husbands aren't Christians, aren't living for the Lord, or just aren't "as spiritual as their wives."  (Beware! Such situations can become a trap for the wife, ensnaring her in a nasty net of self-righteous pride that is very repelling to her husband and to God!)

Many women face daily struggles and heartache from going through life unequally yoked with an unsaved mate.  If you are single, my best advice to you is to never even consider entering into a relationship with a man that is not living for the Lord!  If you are married, the only advice I can give you is from 1 Peter 3:1-4 -- to live in such a way that your godly lifestyle (and not your words) will attract your husband to the gospel!  (Easier said than done, I realize!)

Today, I want to kick off a series of posts on living with an unsaved man written by a godly older woman who did so for many, many years.  That precious woman is one that I know well and admire greatly.  She is my own dear mother.

May 11, 2012

She is not a stranger to this blog, as she has written guest posts for me in the past.  Some of you may have been reading here back in 2009 when she wrote What is in Your Cup?  (Then I followed that with My Cup Runneth Over!)

Here is her introduction to this series:

Some days ago I was asked to write about LIVING WITH AN UNSAVED MATE from an older woman’s perspective. It was with great reluctance that I accepted the challenge.  First of all, I most certainly do not consider myself an authority on the subject. Secondly, I remember the many times and ways in which I failed to respond in a Christ-like way.  Furthermore, I know that every situation is different and that what I share will be from my own unique and personal perspective and experiences, except when otherwise noted, while knowing that yours will have its own unique ups and downs and twists and turns. Therefore, I don’t want to give the impression that my way is the only way----except where Biblical Truth is shared, and in that case, it is true for every wife’s situation. 

One example of a universal Biblical Truth is the fact that God is responsible for salvation. He is the Author of salvation, not man, and the timing and ways are in His hands, not man’s.  See Paul’s testimony: “In the timing that pleased God, He saved him”. However, we do have some God-given responsibilities -- namely prayer and Christlike living!

If you are in a marriage with an unsaved husband, let me encourage you to take hope, take courage, and be strengthened in your faith. Get your eyes off your circumstances and onto the mighty and awesome power of God!! Look for what God can do—in His timing—not at things as they may be at the present time! Our God is a gracious and loving Savior. Plead for your husband before the throne of Grace! God hears your cries! Trust God for His perfect plan and His perfect timing! He makes no mistakes and His hand is not short that it cannot save! Sincerely desire your husband’s salvation for his eternal benefit and God’s glory, not for your ease and satisfaction.

If you are in a marriage with an unsaved husband, whether like mine, where it came as a shock; Or if you got saved after marriage and your husband did not; Or even if you walked against the clear commands of Scripture to not be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever -- none of these situations caught God unawares!! God is still in control. He still rules and reigns from heaven above. Nothing happens without His knowledge and His control!  He has a plan and purpose for your life, and, believe it or not, God has a ministry for you!

Your ministry is your marriage relationship and the way you live Jesus Christ before the eyes of your unsaved mate. It is a ministry that is to take precedence over all others! 

Marriage is a legal and binding covenant relationship with God that takes precedence over all other relationships! It is a covenant that only death can sever!!  Please never lose sight of that fact!! This is a truth which will help you keep your focus on the bad days! Be faithful in this ministry. The rewards are great, they are eternal, not only for you and your mate, but also for your children and all the others, who, though you are unaware, are watching.

On days when I struggled with the incredible ministry God had given me, I, like David encouraged my heart with God’s Word. Two verses from 1 Corinthians chapter 7 were some that God used to help me stay the course with a right focus and goal before my eyes.
1 Cor 7:13-14 And the woman who hath a husband who believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband. Else your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

As Christians we are the light of the world, a city set on a hill that cannot be hidden. We are the salt of the earth. The influence of our lives is to permeate our culture and stop the spread of corruption, seasoning it with Christ-like flavor. It is to make others thirsty for our God. Our good works are to cause others to glorify our Lord!  Salt and light are not something we are to be striving to be. It is what God says we now ARE as a result of Jesus the Light of the World living within us! It is what Jesus Christ made us when He saved us, giving us a new heart and putting His Spirit within. Our lives must reflect the life of Jesus Christ, not just outside our homes where it will be seen by others, but equally important, within our homes, by our attitudes and actions towards our mate and our children.  Therefore we are to quit acting on the outside in a way that does not represent what we truly Are on the inside! In a home divided that is easier said than done. But do it we must, if we want others, and specifically our unsaved mates to thirst for our God.

*This is just the introduction!  Come back next week for more!  I know you will be blessed!!*

Your Turn to Share:

Do you live with an unsaved man?  Or do you have a testimony of your husband coming to the Lord after much prayer and patiently living out Christ before him?  If you have a testimony that will encourage other women in a similar situation, please share!

If you were blessed or encouraged by this post, please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or other social media sites.  Thank you!

Link up:

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to Christian marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog!  Thanks!


linked up with these fabulous blogs:


The Alabaster Jar

Blog Button Final

Growing Home


Beholding Glory


A Proverbs 31 Wife said...

I will be back next week.
I am seriously beginning to wonder about my own husband's salvation, (I know I'm not where I ought to be as well) but things just are not like they should be. So I am certainly interested in your mother's story :) said...

I have often thought of how very blessed I am to have such a strong Christian leader as my husband. I struggle to know how to counsel friends in different circumstances, though my heart breaks for them in their struggles. I look forward to what your mom has to share!

Domestic Goddess said...

My husband was unsaved when we married. I wasn't living a very Christian life myself although I grew up in the church and had accepted Christ. I was angry at God and didn't care what he thought. After the birth of my second child I realized what I was doing and turned back to the Lord. My husband called me a freak, made going to church difficult if not impossible. If I went to church I could not tithe our money. I read power of a praying wife and decided that I could not control him but I could control me. My friends stood by my side, prayed with me and for me. After 11yrs my hubby began changing. This past year he accepted christ. We go to ch urch, tithe, do ministry with the youth, help out in other programs...and talk about what God has done for us, how we see him working in our lives...its amazing. We will be married 13yrs and are closer than ever before.

Emma Sheffield said...

Domestic goddess, this is such an encouragement, I wonder if my husband will ever be saved, he still seems so far away after ten years of marriage. I need to keep looking to God and praying! X

Emma Sheffield said...

Domestic goddess, this is such an encouragement, I wonder if my husband will ever be saved, he still seems so far away after ten years of marriage. I need to keep looking to God and praying! X

What Joy Is Mine said...

Elizabeth...I am looking forward to the encouragement of this series. I am blessed to be married to a godly man but at one time I almost married a non-believer. Thank you for sharing this at WJIM this week. Blessings.

Kita said...

Thank you for this article. My marriage is my ministry. I honestly have been hurt so dearly from my spouse I was starting to just pray for him only and not even try for our marriage anymore. I'm exhausted. But this article has helped. I have to continue in prayer without stopping and to continue to be Christlike. Not holding it over his head but by walking by faith. Being the salt and the light. Thank you so much!

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