Of course, it is easier to love our husbands during the good times, when the pantry is stocked, the bank account is padded, the cars are all running, the children are behaving well, everyone is healthy, and life seems to be going along pretty well. Or is it??
The truth is that hard times often draw us closer to the Lord and to each other. (Of course, the opposite can also be true, if we allow bitterness to set in. But that's a topic for another day and another blog post!) However, it is easy to become complacent during the good times. We tend to think we don't need God, or our husbands, or our church body. We start skipping our quiet times. We start thinking of ways to make our life even easier and more pleasant. Yes, before we know what has happened, we can become self-sufficient, self-focused, self-indulgent and self-satisfied. Hey, we may even become self-righteous, thinking we are doing everything right and that is why our lives are so blessed! (Tip: Whenever you see the word "self" that many times in the same sentence, watch out!)
Whenever we become that focused on self, we have lost the ability to love. Love is all about others. It is giving without any expectation of personal gain. Love is preferring others above ourselves. Love is dying to self.
If our blessings cause us to be self-centered and to lose our focus on God and others (including our husbands), then it actually becomes harder to love our husbands during the good times!
God knows the traps that ensnare us when everything is going well. He explicitly warned the Israelites in Deuteronomy chapter 8 about the dangers of forgetting Him when they were enjoying His blessings:
Lest when thou hast eaten and art full, and hast built goodly houses, and dwelt therein; And when thy herds and thy flocks multiply, and thy silver and thy gold is multiplied, and all that thou hast is multiplied; Then thine heart be lifted up, and thou forget the LORD thy God, which brought thee forth out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage . . . And thou say in thine heart, My power and the might of mine hand hath gotten me this wealth. But thou shalt remember the LORD thy God: for it is he that giveth thee power to get wealth, that he may establish his covenant which he sware unto thy fathers, as it is this day. (verses 12-14, 17-18)
As we see from the passage above, the first hurdle to overcome during the good times is not forgetting God, but continuing to acknowledge Him and honor Him as the source of all our blessings. The second hurdle is to not be puffed up with pride. If we remain humble and grateful, giving all the glory to God, our hearts will be prepared to love our husbands as well.
Practically speaking, how can we best demonstrate love to our husbands when times are good?? Here are a few suggestions:
- Compliment your husband for anything he has done well that has contributed to the blessings you are enjoying, making sure he knows that you are proud of him and his accomplisments.
- Especially praise him for any godly character qualities he has demonstrated that have led to his success, such as diligence, perseverence, responsibility, creativity, etc.
- If he has received an award, honor or a promotion, honor him with a special dinner, serving his food on a Special Plate (like the one in the picture above!)
- Help him remain humble by reminding him that it is the Lord that ultimately gives the power and ability to get wealth.
- Encourage him to give God all the glory and praise for the blessings that you are enjoying, especially if God has delivered you from a difficult situation. (Psalm 50:15)
- Partner with your husband to bless and encourage others who are going through difficult times, by demonstrating generosity, hospitality and genuine love for others.
- Continue to cultivate your relationships with God and with each other during the good times as well as the bad.
- Encourage him to prepare for difficult times ahead. (Yes, the reality of life is that we are either in a trial, just finished with a trial, or preparing for the next trial to hit!)
Your Turn to Share:
How do you demonstrate love to your husband during times of blessing and abundance? How do you keep your eyes focused on the Lord and not on His blessings? How do you cultivate your relationship with your husband in the good times? Please share! I'd love to hear how you make your husband feel special during times of blessing as well as during times of trial. Please share so that we might all be encouraged!!!
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