Monday, January 28, 2013

Marriage Monday: Loving Your Husband Begins in Your Mind {Link up}

Marriage Mondays

Welcome back to Marriage Monday! I am in the midst of a series on Loving our Husbands.  Last week, I explored the three types of love that a wife should have for her husband.  If you missed that post, you might want to check it out before reading this one.

The most common objection to this teaching on loving our husbands is -- "What if I don't feel love towards my husband?"  As we discussed last week, those tender, affectionate feelings are only one type of love we should have for our husbands. We are also commanded to love them with an agape, God-like love. That means we must choose to love our husbands whether we feel like it or not.

The place where that starts is in our minds. Stop and take inventory of your thoughts towards your husband.  Are they loving and forgiving thoughts?  Or are they selfish, bitter, angry, unforgiving thoughts??

According to Proverbs 23:7, as a man [woman] thinks in her heart, so is she.

In 2 Corinthians 10:5 we are instructed to take every thought captive in obedience to Christ. That means we stop all thoughts at the door of our minds, frisk them, and if we catch any unbiblical thoughts, we handcuff them and throw them out!  We only admit the thoughts that pass the scrutiny of the TSA (Thoughts Scriptural Administration)!   ;)  

Of course, to be a good TSA agent, we must know how to recognize dangerous thoughts and throw them out and we must know which thoughts to let through. We do that by reading the training manual cover to cover, also known as renewing our minds with Scripture, according to Romans 12:2. The more we read and study God's Word, the more we discern which thoughts are pleasing to Him and which ones are not.  Here is a basic guideline for thoughts that should be freely admitted:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. ~ Phillipians 4:8

Now, let's try frisking a couple thoughts.

What about:

"I can never forgive him for how he's hurt me!"

Reject or Admit?

We would reject that thought because of Ephesians 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

What about this one:

"I'll get him back for how he has treated me!"

Of course, we would have to kick that thought out because we are instructed in 1 Peter 3:9 - not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.

Here's another one:

"He always gets what he wants. I'm going to get my way for a change!"

I think Philipians 2:3-4 shows us to send that thought and all similar ones packing - Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Let's try one more:

"I've had it! I'm not going to let him hurt me anymore! I deserve better! I'm out of here!"

Obviously, we would reject that thought based on many passages. Let's start with Colossians 3:12-13 - Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.  

Furthermore, we have the words of Jesus in Matthew 19:6-7 - And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' "and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?" So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." 

Truly, loving our husbands begins in our minds!  As we renew our minds, God will give us the grace to treat our husbands with love, and eventually the feelings will follow!

Your Turn to Share:

Do you have some thoughts that you've arrested and kicked out of your mind and replaced with godly, loving thoughts towards your husband that you could share?  What was the scripture that helped you renew your mind?  Please share so that we might all be encouraged to love our husbands starting in our minds!

If you were blessed or encouraged by this post, please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or other social media sites.  Thank you!

Link up:

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to Christian marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog!  Thanks!



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Amy M. said...

I have had many battles with making assumptions. My husband used to call me "Thumper" ... for jumping to conclusions so often. Cute, but not cute.

When I make assumptions about my husband's motives or moods or even about what he's trying to express right this very minute, I'm not showing respect, nor even basic decency!

I have to think, "Lord, put your hand over my mouth!"

busymomof10 said...


Thank you so much for sharing! I love your prayer - Lord, put your hand over my mouth! That is a good one I will have to remember! I think it is perfect for those times we want to say, I told you so! :)

Our Stories God's Glory said...

It's funny. I read this post and thought...Oh, I don't think like this anymore. But then I thought...Oh I bet if I watch my thoughts closely, I'll find I'm not doing quite as well as I might think. I'm going to really check my thoughts about my beloved and start arresting! Thanks for this.

Ashley Ditto said...

This post is amazing, and just what I needed!!

Elizabeth said...

Thanks ladies! I appreciate the encouragement!! :)

Alicia said...

Oh, how i love the practical wisdom here. Thanks for the reminder that I need to guard my mind- for my sake and for my husband's.

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