Today I want to talk about loving our husbands during tough times.
What do you do when your husband makes a mistake, makes a really bad decision or a series of bad decisions, fails at something, lets you down, or just totally blows it?
Do you become angry, bitter, and resentful? Does your mouth drip with venom, as you spit out such statements as, "I told you so!" or "You never do anything right!" or "That was the stupidest decision you've ever made!"
Wow! I hope not!! Honestly, it was hard for me to even type those statements!!! By God's grace, I hope I won't ever speak such deadly words to my husband!!! ("Death and life are in the power of the tongue . . ." ~ Proverbs 18:21)
Like it or not, no husband is perfect, and every wife will experience times when her husband disappoints her, lets her down, or even sins against her. He may make poor decisions or suffer a run of "bad luck," forcing her to endure times of need, financial loss, and hardship. She may truly suffer because of unwise decisions or actions on the part of her husband. However, a godly wife will not kick her husband when he is down! She will stand by her man, continuing to treat him with love and respect (even if it is a struggle to do so), encouraging him, helping him overcome the present difficulty, and enabling him to rise to his full potential in every area.
I'm always amazed when I read the well-known exhortation for wives in 1 Peter 3:1-7 when I come to verse 6, which says:
It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you]. (Amplified version)
It challenges our thinking to see that Sarah is held up as our example to follow, when we know that Abraham put Sarah in some very precarious situations, as recorded in Genesis chapters 12 and 20! Yet, she apparently continued to love, honor and obey Abraham and to trust the Lord, and the amazing thing about those situations is how God protected her!
I hope none of us have been put into a king's harem by our husbands like Sarah was!!! ;) But, what if we do find ourselves in a difficult situation due to some unwise action or decision on the part of our husbands -- how can we continue to show them love and honor?
I think our goal as wives should be to extravagantly love, encourage, honor and bless our husbands during the good times and the bad. If they have failed, made mistakes, been beaten down and made to feel worthless out in the world, they don't need more of the same at home. Home should be where they feel unconditional love, acceptance, support, and encouragement!
I love the following account of a young woman who knew how to do just that, as shared by Priscilla Shirer in The Resolution for Women:
He was a struggling salesman, rising early each morning to go from one proverbial closed door to another, attempting to sell a variety of products made by the company he worked for. The days were long and exhausting, and he often had little to show for his efforts -- certainly not from lack of trying, just from lack of takers. His young, redheaded wife had been only eighteen when they married. And as their family grew, she spent the better part of each day trying to figure out how to make their small living quarters an enjoyable, satisfactory space, given the difficulties of their financial strain. Yet the day came when the strain turned into the kind that can make a girl want to give up -- when she want to flip a light switch, and no lights came on. Thinking it was only a mishap in the electrical system, she went to another light source. Again, nothing. Another, nothing. Throughout the house she flipped switches -- nothing -- confirming what she already knew but didn't want to believe. Their electricity bill hadn't been paid. Worse yet, it couldn't be. So for the remainder of the day, she did the best she could to take care of her household responsibilities. Even as the lengthening shadows of late afternoon slowly shrouded the kitchen in dim light, she prepared a makeshift dinner, then set it out with care and dignity on their darkened dining room table. A flashlight search uncovered some half-used candles, which she lit to create an elaborate place setting. The scene was gorgeous. When her husband arrived, tired and road weary, he found her and the children seated at the table, smiling and waiting to have dinner with him. They enjoyed their candlelit meal. Had good conversation together. The children especially loved the unique touch of candles at dinner. Thought it was fun. Their home was full of peace and serenity despite the circumstances -- circumstances the children didn't even know about. Neither did her husband. He went straight from the table and collapsed exhausted into bed, beside which she'd lit more candles. She never said a word. It wasn't until the next day, when he arose to get ready for work, that he realized there were not lights. Putting the mental pieces together, he realized what his wife had done -- how she'd preserved his dignity, how she'd opted for peace and beauty rather than friction and discord in response to the inconvenience. He walked past the bed one more time on his way out the door that morning, just long enough to brush the red wisps of hair from her cheek and whisper, "Thank you," into her ear. Whether she heard or not, he didn't know. But he was too grateful to let the opportunity pass him by. Grateful to be sharing a home -- sharing a life -- with a woman committed to being gracious, promoting peace, overlooking shortcomings, providing an environment in which her family could flourish, even when living in less than desirable circumstances. And at their fiftieth wedding anniversary, adult children and grandchildren standing at their side, this was the moment he recounted when asked to share his favorite memory from their life together.
Wow! I don't know about you -- but that's the kind of wife I desire to be!
Your Turn to Share:
If you have a testimony of how you loved, honored, respected and encouraged your husband during a very difficult time, please share!!! Anyone have a story like the one I shared above?? Please share so that we might all be encouraged!!!
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