Monday, March 18, 2013

Marriage Monday: Loving Your Husband by Encouraging Him {Link up}

Marriage Mondays

Welcome back to Marriage Monday! I am in the midst of a series on Loving our Husbands. Last week, I talked about Loving our Husbands by Spending Time with Them. If you missed that post, you might want to click on the link and check it out. It's not too late to add your ideas for spending time together! 

This week I want to talk about how we can love our husbands by encouraging them!

My husband tends to be naturally more melancholy and pessimistic than I am. I'm definitely more of an optimist. However, at times I can be unrealistically optimistic, so he brings me back to earth! ;)  And when he is sounding too much like Eeyore, I encourage him to look at things from a brighter perspective. As you can see, we balance each other out perfectly!  ;)  (Which, by the way, is exactly how God intended marriage to work!)

Regardless of whether we are naturally optimistic or not, one aspect of loving our husbands is to encourage them when they need it. Whether they are uncertain of their abilities, feeling beaten down and trampled on by the world, overcome by their failures, or just generally discouraged by the trials of life, it is both our responsibility and privilege to come along side of them and encourage them! Here are some simple ways to do just that.

Ten Ways to Encourage Your Husband:

1. Write an encouraging note and put it in his lunchbag, briefcase or car where he will find it. Or send him an encouraging email or text.

2. Listen attentively to his problems and offer sympathy or perhaps a few gentle suggestions, if he seems receptive to that.

3. Encourage him to look for the good in every situation, reminding him to trust God to redeem even the worst situation and to bring good out of it. (Romans 8:28)

4. Affirm him and make sure he knows that you believe in him!

5. Remind of him of his positive attributes, strengths and abilities and express confidence in his ability to handle a difficult situation or to make a wise decision.

6. If he is discouraged because he is overwhelmed, stressed, or has too many demands on his time and energy, look for ways you or the children might be able to lighten his load by helping him with some of his chores, such as doing the yard work or running some errands, perhaps. (Yes, even if you are overwhelmed by your own work load!)

7. If he is discouraged about finances or a job loss, refrain from complaining about a lack of resources. Instead look for creative ways to make do.

8. Pray for him and with him.

9. Share encouraging Scripture verses or devotionals (like ones from my favorite devotional - Jesus Calling!!) with him. Encourage him to keep his eyes on Jesus!

10. Smile and stay upbeat and positive in his presence, even if you are struggling with discouragement yourself! (Let that be your little secret!)  :)

These are a few of the ways I've encouraged my husband through the years. I'd love to hear other strategies that you have used to encourage and build up your husband!

While I know that the above ideas are helpful for encouraging your husband if he is struggling with discouragement, I also know that some of you may be facing a more serious situation. Perhaps your husband is beyond discouraged; he is drowning in a deep depression that is affecting your family life and his ability to work. What then? How do you help your husband when he is seriously depressed?  Make sure you come back next week, as I share some insigts from someone very dear to me on how to love your husband through depression.

Your Turn to Share:

Please share some of the ways that you encourage your husband when he is discouraged. Or perhaps you are the one who has struggled most with discouragement and he has encouraged you. Feel free to share practical ways that your husband has encouraged you!  Please share so we might all be encouraged!

If you were blessed or encouraged by this post, please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or other social media sites.  Thank you!

Link up:

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to Christian marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog!  Thanks!



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Amy M. said...

I have practiced each of the items on the list at various times. My husband is "naturally negative" and so struggles with feeling discouraged often.

One of the things I do to build him up is to find attributes of him in our children, and notice them out loud. Such as, "You are good at math, just like your dad. I'm thankful for that, because I'm NOT good at it. I admire that skill." Or, "You definitely have your dad's sense of humor, and that's one of my favorite things about him!"

When our husbands are in a rut or in a tough spot, it's easy to join in and feel cranky. Wives need to set the tone and keep it -- which I believe God wired us for, but it's a choice. Choose joy! :)

busymomof10 said...

Amy, What a Fabulous Comment! Thank you so much for sharing your insights and wisdom!! You are so right about how easy it is to be influenced by our husband's mood, but instead, we need to remain cheerful and set the mood of the home! I love your statement to CHOOSE JOY! :)


Gail @ said...

This is a great list of ideas, Elizabeth. My husband isn't often discouraged, and he's not a big talker, but your #5 always works well in making him feel lighter/happier.

Lindsay Harold said...

I like to send notes in my husband's lunch to remind him of how proud I am of him and how much I love him. He really appreciates that.

Elizabeth said...

Thanks for sharing Lindsay! I haven't done that in years, mostly because my husband has too many lunch meetings to take his lunch very often! But I think it is a very encouraging thing to do !! For our children too!

Unknown said...

What a great list! Thank you for reminding me what is important!! Love your blog. :)

Jaimie said...

I wrote a post very similar to this today! This is such a great post. I try really hard to encourage my husband on a daily basis--just telling him "You're awesome," "you're handsome," "I am so thankful for you," etc. But I definitely need to work on getting more specific with my encouragement of him-- HOW is he awesome? WHAT about him is handsome? WHY am I thankful for him?

Thank you for this, and thanks for hosting the link-up! I'll be back! :)

3dlessons4life said...

Great post! I am adding this to my Pinterest board located here:

Alvaro Lorey said...
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