Monday, April 22, 2013

Marriage Monday: The Secrets to a Life Long Marriage {Link up}

Marriage Mondays

Welcome back to Marriage Monday! I'm writing today from my parent's home in South Carolina! It has been nice to escape from the hard work of moving and be here with them for a few days!  ;)

If you missed last week's post, I talked about Loving Our Husbands during Stressful Times, such as a move!!  If you missed that post, you might want to check it out!  Let's face it, we will all endure trials and times of testing in this life, so it's good to be prepared for how to respond to one another when a crisis hits!

Today, I decided to share some insights on marriage from being here with my parents, who have been married for 52 1/2 years! They have had their share of difficult times, including a period of separation in their early years together (when they were advised to divorce!), times of intense suffering and debilitating illness, and many years of living together "unequally yoked."  (To learn move about that, check out the series of posts that my Mom wrote for me on Living with an Unsaved Mate.  I know you will be blessed by her testimony and words of encouragement!!)

May 2010

As I think about my parents and their marriage, I've been pondering what it was that kept them together through the years. When I asked my Dad that question he quipped, "Lots of sugar!"  ;)  Then he added, "If you marry a sweet woman, you've got it made!!"  :)  Ha ha!  :)

Thinking about his off-the-cuff comment, I'm sure that lots of "sugar" is definitely one secret to a happy marriage! ;)  I also think that having a sense of humor is key!  Learning to laugh at ourselves, at life, at the antics of our mates -- that must be one of the secrets to surviving many years together! Even the Bible says that laughter is good medicine!  And believe me, you'd have to have a sense of humor to live with my Dad!!!  :)

The main word that comes to my mind as I observe my parents, however, is commitment.  Being committed to each other and to their marriage vows, regardless of circumstances - that's huge!  Commitment is something that seems to have gone out of style along with poodle skirts and penny loafers.  Many of the people I observe lack commitment in their marriages, in child training, in their jobs, in the church and in their relationship with Christ.  When the going gets tough, they always look for greener pastures.  

An offspring of commitment is choice.  When it comes right down to it, love is a choice.  My parents made the decision to love one another regardless of how they felt at any given moment.  Marriage is not always fun. Living with another person day after day is not always easy.  Life is not always "happily ever after."  But my parents made the choice to love through the good times and the bad!

My Dad has demonstrated his commitment to my Mom during years of illness, both in their early years when she had reoccurring bouts of rheumatic fever that kept her bed-ridden for months at a time, and in her later years when she was diagnosed with MS, and even now as she struggles with severe stenosis of the aortic valve and lives out her last days with much pain and weakness. It is a blessing to watch him care for her so tenderly! 

Likewise, my Mom demonstrated her commitment to my Dad by loving him and honoring him when he did not know or desire to serve the Lord for the first 20 years of marriage. It was heart-wrenching for her to endure years of a divided home where they served two different masters, but her commitment to God and to her marriage vows enabled her to love my Dad and pray for him as she awaited that day when God would save him!

My parents have overcome many obstacles because they both chose a life of love and commitment to each other and to God.  In the process, they have grown closer to each other and have become more like Christ, and their lives are a blessing and testimony to all who know them!

I'm praising God today for my precious Mom and Dad and the godly heritage they have given me!  I'm also reminiscing about the fun we had at their 50th anniversary celebration two years ago!  Click here to watch the slide show I made for them and see glimpses of their fifty years together!

Your Turn to Share:

What do you think the secrets are to a long and lasting marriage?  What have you learned about marriage from the successes or failures of your parent's marriage(s)?  What are you teaching your own children about marriage as they observe the relationship that you and your husband live out before them?  Will they want to emulate what they see?  Please share so we might all be encouraged!

If you were blessed or encouraged by this post, please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or other social media sites.  Thank you!

Link up:

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to Christian marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog!  Thanks!


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Blogs I link up with from week to week:

Happy Wives Club


The Alabaster Jar

Marriage Moment

What Joy Is Mine

Growing Home

Courtship Connection

TLHV button


Missional Women


Chris said...

Thank you so much, Elizabeth for hosting this hop..I love your post, as always. I often stop by and read ( I subs a while ago) but I don't always comment due to time....
I linked a couple of posts but realized after it was too late that you wanted the BLOG POST name not my name...oops.
Sorry abt that.
I will grab your button for my sidebar...
Elizabeth, I'd love it if you could consider linking to my Memoir Monday blog hop....that's one of the links that I linked up today.

Thanks again so much!

Have a lovely night

Fawn Weaver said...

Hi Elizabeth! I'm hopping over here from Happy Wives Club link up. I just posted a long response and then the commenting system timed out and went to an error page. Before I attempted to rewrite it, I thought I'd test the commenting system with this.

Fawn Weaver said...

Of course it worked the second time :). My first comment was that I was just thinking about this earlier today and that there are so many small things we do each day to create lifelong marriages. One I think is so important is having common goals that you work together to achieve. There's something about being on the same side and working together toward a common goal. It brings you closer together and over time as you achieve your various goals, you celebrate your successes together, as well.

busymomof10 said...

Hi Chris,

Thank you for the positive feedback! Like you, I often read, but don't always have time to comment! Thanks for linking up! I will go link up with Memoir Monday!


busymomof10 said...

Thank you Fawn for taking time to link up and to comment. Having the same goals and dreams certainly helps to draw a couple together! And when we don't? When possible, the wife should adopt one or more of the husband's dreams and help him succeed. I am thinking of one of my all-time favorite movies -- "The Glynn Miller Story" where Glynn Miller's wife does exactly that!! :) Have you seen it?


Chris said...

Oooh, thank you so much, Elizabeth, for gracing us with this beautiful post for the Memoir Mon hop!
How kind of you to come on over and share your reflection....

I adore your Dad's comments abt his long marriage. They, and your family, are very blessed.
Reminds me so much of my Mom and Dad, neither of whom are with us any longer...what a sweet story to read,
Have a lovely day, friend. said...

I love hearing the love stories of those who have endured to their golden years. My own parents have been married for 54 years. Thanks for sharing their story and for linking up with Marriage Moment @ Great Peace Academy


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