Monday, May 20, 2013

Marriage Monday: What to Do about those Warts! {Link up}

Marriage Mondays

Welcome back to Marriage Monday! Did you catch my post last week on What to Do When Your Prince Acts Like a Frog?  If not, you might want to click over and give it a quick read, because I'm going to continue with the frog analogy today!  :)

Here is an excerpt from last week's post:

As young brides we often expect our handsome, young husbands to be our "knights in shining armor," saving us from all of our problems!  Even if we notice a few "warts" during our dating or courtship, we expect those to all disappear when we say, "I do," because we fully expect that frog to become our Prince Charming!  In real life, our Prince may continue to exhibit a few frog-like characteristics for the rest of his life!  The real test of our commitment and love is whether we are willing to treat him like a Prince even if he sometimes acts like a frog!

Today I want to talk about those warts!  :)  Every frog prince has some!  ;)

Have you ever had a wart??  They are not serious or life-threatening, just ugly and irritating. We are usually embarrassed by them and try to hide them from others.  We are also likely to try all kinds of medicated creams or crazy natural remedies to make them disappear.  (Ever tried getting rid of warts with duct tape??)

The "warts" we find on our husbands are about the same -- not really serious issues that threaten the life of our marriage, just little irritating or embarrassing habits or eccentricities that become increasingly annoying over time.  

Here are a few "home remedies" to try if you have a "wart" problem:

1. Overlook them.

If possible, just try to ignore or overlook those little irritations, remembering that Proverbs 19:11 says that it is a glory to overlook a transgression.  Since men love to solve problems with duct tape, and since there is actual evidence that duct tape really is effective in removing warts, I suggest using the duct tape method in your marriage. When your husband does something to irritate or annoy you, just imagine covering up that fault with duct tape! After all, 1 Peter 4:8 says that love (duct tape?!) covers a multitude of sins!!!  :)

2. Communicate Clearly.

Many times as wives we are guilty of sulking, storming around the house, and using the silent treatment and/or the cold shoulder technique when we are irritated with or offended by our husbands.  Our men may actually find relief by our use of the silent treatment, but probably not so much by the cold shoulder!  ;)  None of these strategies is a mature or effective way to resolve conflict, however!  Instead, we need to communicate clearly with our husbands and let them know what they are doing that irritates us and what they can do differently.  (Next week I plan to address effective communication tips.)

3. Change our Attitudes.

When we have to live with small irritations that never seem to change, these little things can grow into huge mountains of frustration in our minds. We can very easily blow them out of proportion!  It is at this point that we need to thank God for those irritating habits, because God can use them to build character in our lives! Also, we need to simply step back and be thankful for our husbands, "warts" and all! Many wives whose husbands have been taken suddenly through heart attacks, strokes, car accidents, etc. would gladly go back to cleaning toothpaste off the mirror, putting the seat down on the toilet, picking up dirty socks off the floor, or cleaning up muddy boot tracks just to have their husbands back. Perspective is everything!

4. Swallow the pride.

Many times we put up with our husbands little irritating or annoying habits on a day-to-day basis, but then we over-react when these are displayed in front of others. Ever wonder why? It's because of the age-old problem - Pride! In other words, they embarrass us in front of our friends or family, and suddenly some little issue is blown way out of proportion! Yes, your husband may humiliate you at times, but just remember that God has promised to give grace to the humble!  :) We all need His grace and a dose of humility is usually a good thing!  

5.  Recognize your own faults.

One way to ditch the pride and be clothed with humility is to examine ourselves and discover our own "warts."  The truth is that we wives have plenty of habits that our husbands find irritating, frustrating, or embarrassing, too.  Perhaps, always making him late is one of them?  Or over-reacting to little things??  ;) If after careful examination, we don't find any "warts" on ourselves, we should ask our husbands to point out a few!  If our husbands are extremely brave men, I'm sure they will be glad to oblige!  :)

Your Turn to Share:

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic.  How do you deal with your husband's "warts?" What does he do about yours?  And just out of curiosity, have you ever gotten rid of a wart using duct tape??  ;)  Please share your experiences by leaving a comment here or over on my Facebook page, so we might all be encouraged and built up as wives!

If you were blessed or encouraged by this post, please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or other social media sites.  Thank you!

Link up:

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to Christian marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog!  Thanks!

marriage mondays

Blogs I link up with from week to week:

Happy Wives Club


The Alabaster Jar

Marriage Moment

What Joy Is Mine

Growing Home

Courtship Connection


Missional Women

Please link up your blog post on marriage below. Where it says "Your Name" enter the title of your blog post, not your personal name! Thanks! :)


ren said...

My prince does have a fe warts- I like #1 and 5 ;) AND never tried Duct tape but, have used banana peal and my daughter's wart was gone in just under 3 days ;)
Cut a slice of peel large enough to cover wart. Tape it over with medical bandage tape and change it out in the morning and at night until the wart fall out. ;)

Fawn Weaver said...

Yes! The overlook part is so important. I have so many warts he's gracious enough to overlook so how silly would I be to flash a mirror in front of him while simultaneously disregarding my own?

busymomof10 said...

I try to teach my children in their friendships to overlook offenses -- it is excellent practice for marriage and for life in general!!

Never heard of the banana peel trick for getting rid of warts! Not sure how I can apply that to marriage! I'm pretty sure hoping your husband trips on a banana peel is not in keeping with the spirit of this blog!!! ;)

Tracy said...

Hi there, visiting from Gail's! I so needed to read this post today. Thank you, God bless

Lori said...

It's true, while we can address many things with a respectful conversation/request, there will always be aspects of our husbands (and ourselves) that they/we are unable/unwilling to change. We can choose to continue to nag, fight, cajole over them, or we can accept them and give them over to God. Dr. Gary Chapman has a great example of this in his book, "The Marriage You've Always WAnted." He said when he accepted his wife's inability to remember to close drawers and appointed himself as the designated "Drawer-closer," they were both much happier. Thanks for a thoughtful post. Visiting from Hungry for God; Starving for Time today and glad I did. :)

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