Welcome back to Marriage Monday! I hope you had a chance to read my post last week on Resolving Conflict in Marriage. Learning how to communicate is an important element to building a strong marriage.
Recently I heard someone that I respect say this, "You are either building up or you are tearing down."
That is a powerful statement. I thought of how it applied to so many areas of our lives, but specifically to our marriages.
Proverbs 14:1 says, "Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands." (Amplified version)
We are either building our homes and our marriages or tearing them down. It's that simple. Here is a list of ten ways we tear down our marriages, followed by ten ways we can build up our marriages.
Ten Ways to Tear Down your Marriage:
1. Think negative thoughts about your husband.
2. Criticize and correct your husband every chance you get.
3. Nag him until he changes his bad habits.
4. Assume you are always right and know more than he does on any given topic.
5. Treat your husband like one of the children; be sure to mother him.
6. Demand your own way and insist that he serve you.
7. Quickly "put your husband in his place" if he gets a little "frisky."
8. Point out his faults to others, especially to the children.
9. Make jokes at his expense to get a good laugh when in a crowd.
10. Be sure to treat your friends (or pets) better than you treat your husband.
Ten Ways to Build Up your Marriage:
1. Think positive thoughts about your husband and your marriage. Focus on the good things. (Philippians 4:8)
2. Praise your husband for his good qualities every chance you get.
3. Overlook his faults. (1 Peter 4:8) Give him grace! Wisely address the issues that need to be resolved.
4. Be humble. Put his needs above your own. (Philippians 2:3)
5. Treat your husband with respect. Avoid belittling him by treating him as a child. (Ephesians 5:33)
6. Fight selfishness by developing a servant's heart. Serve your husband in love. (Galations 5:13)
7. Understand your husband's need for physical love and cultivate that aspect of your relationship. (Genesis 2:24-25)
8. Encourage his leadership by being willing to follow his direction, his decisions and even his suggestions. (1 Peter 3:1-2)
9. Point out your husband's good qualities to others! Praise him in front of your children. Avoid falling into the trap of making fun of your husband to earn a laugh. The laughter soon dies away and your marriage with it.
10. Treat your husband even better than your friends. He should be your top priority (after the Lord). (Proverbs 31:10-13)
Hopefully, we all find ourselves more in the second list than the first one! Nevertheless, there is always room for improvement! It takes work and commitment to build, while it is easy to tear down and destroy without even realizing what we are doing. It will require being different than the culture around us.
Ready for a challenge? Let's purpose together this week to identify the areas where we are tearing down our marriages and find ways to build them up instead!
Your Turn to Share:
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Are you tearing down or building up your marriage? What are you teaching your children about building a marriage as they observe your words and actions? What is one specific way you will purpose to build up your marriage this week? Please share by leaving a comment here or over on my Facebook page, so we might all be encouraged and built up as wives!
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