Monday, June 17, 2013

Marriage Monday: Pleasing our Husbands {Link up}

Marriage Mondays

Welcome back to Marriage Monday! I hope you were able to read my post from last week, where I revealed the number one factor that destroys marriages.  If you missed that, you might want to click on the link and give it a quick read before moving on to today's post.

I have a question for you:  Who do you seek to please every day?  Ever thought about it?  For most of us, the answer to that question is, sadly, ourselves.

According to 1 Corinthians 7:34, the unmarried Christian woman is most focused on how she may please the Lord, while the married woman is most focused on how she may please her husband.

So, I'm just wondering -- how many of us go through life focusing on how we might please the Lord or how we might please our husbands??  When we got up this morning, did we even think about one thing we could do today that might please our husbands??  Did we give any thought to how our plans for the day might be pleasing to our Lord??  

Those are pretty daunting questions, aren't they?

We know from various scripture passages that if we are to be obedient to the Lord, which is what pleases Him more than anything (1 Samuel 15:22, John 14:15), then we will be seeking ways to please our husbands.

"As wives, our life's work should be to perfect how we may please our husbands."  ~ Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet

Girls should be practicing this skill when they are young by seeking to please their fathers.  (Are our daughters characterized by obedience and respect for their fathers??  If not, then we know what our top priority is for those girls in the coming months!)

While girlhood is an excellent training ground for biblical womanhood, a young lady still faces an interesting dilemma when she marries.  She must transfer her primary loyalty from her father to her husband.  She must change her habits and routines and learn to please her husband.

"A wise woman patterns her life after her husband's. His working, playing, eating, and sleeping habits become hers."  ~ Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet

I have a funny story to share that illustrates this.  

My oldest daughter, Tiffany, and my middle daughter, Hannah, have been in South Carolina at my parent's house for the past week.  While there, my Dad grew a bit irritated with Tiffany because in the mornings she would dump out the old coffee in the pot from the night before and make a fresh batch of coffee!  Depending on your perspective, this may seem to be a perfectly reasonable thing to do; however, my Dad is extremely frugal, and he considers that sinfully wasteful!  ;)  He wants to drink every last drop of old coffee before making a new pot of coffee!  Now, what makes this story funny is that Tiffany's Dad, which is of course, my husband, refuses to drink warmed up coffee from the day before!! He has even been known to ask before pouring a cup of coffee, "Is this fresh coffee?"  ;)

While amusing, this story perfectly illustrates what happens when a young woman gets married.  She must change from doing things the way her father liked them done to doing things the way her husband likes them!

Have you made that transition??

Your Turn to Share:

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject. How do you seek to please your husband each and every day?  What practices did you have to change when you got married in order to please your husband??  Please share by leaving a comment here or over on my Facebook page, so we might all be encouraged and built up as wives!

If you were blessed or encouraged by this post, please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or other social media sites.  Thank you!

Link up:

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to Christian marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog!  Thanks!

marriage mondays

Blogs I link up with from week to week:

Happy Wives Club


The Alabaster Jar

Marriage Moment

Growing Home

Courtship Connection


Messy Marriage

Wifey Wednesday button

Missional Women

Please link up your blog post on marriage below by entering the url of your specific post. Where it says "Your Name" enter the title of your blog post, not your personal name! Thanks! :)


Ren Blogger said...

AGREED!! My I can't stand it when I hear: God first and then husband. Putting Husband first is how God wants me to honor him. Putting Husband first is putting God first! I love the daughter connection- moving from pleasing dad to hubs is a "complication" I'd never quite considered before! And I was challenged by you question of thoughts about pleasing hubs today . . .I haven't thought about how I could- EEk! But, I know one right off the top of my head- better get on it.

Jaimie said...

I love the suggestion to think of a way to bless/please my husband, right away in the morning. (Finish housework early so I'm free when he comes home from work? Make his favorite meal/dessert for supper? Put on an outfit I know he'll like? Etc.)

As a still-mostly-newlywed (we just celebrated our second anniversary last month), I very recently struggled with that transition from being under my parents' leadership to being under my husband's. I've needed to realize that my parents were NOT right about everything, as much as I wanted to believe they were-- that sometimes I'm going to have to make a decision my parents might not like-- that I can't tell my mom everything like I used to because there are many things, including most little marital spats, that need to be kept between my husband, God, and me.

Your post from last week struck a chord with me because selfishness is definitely my number one fault and struggle! I really need to focus on putting others before myself--that ends up making me happier, too!

On that note, I have to disagree slightly with the previous commenter. She said "Putting husband first is putting God first." I disagree. When God is number one in our lives, then our other relationships will be at a healthy place, especially our marriage. When I am loving God with all my heart, soul, body and mind, THEN I will have my priorities in order and will be able to love and respect my husband as I am called to do. And when I am in a healthy place spiritually, my husband will be blessed as a result because I will be striving to be a Godly wife/homemaker, and I will be able to encourage my husband spiritually if I am well-fed spiritually. Now, if I were to spend all day in prayer and Bible reading and not doing anything else, that wouldn't be good at all! But when God is first in my life (as the First Commandment requires that He be), my priorities will be in their proper order and all my other relationships will be blessed as a result.

Chris said...

Thank you, once again, for a thought provoking post.

I don't have anything suitable to link this week but I do love coming over to read your MM weekly and your Front Porch Fridays.

Thank you. Inspiring and enlightening comments too.
Thank you, ladies.


Beth said...

Your illustration about your daughter's coffee habits really hits the nail on the head, Elizabeth! I've never thought of it this way before, but it's so true! We do need to move from doing what pleased our dads to what pleases our husbands--a form of "leaving and cleaving." And it's not just for young brides, as you've pointed out here. It's for all of us "old brides" who need to focus on "pleasing our husbands." Great word of wisdom, my friend! I'm listening and applying today!

Abby May said...

Haha so true!! I loved the story about Tiffany. My dad would have been the one to use allllll of the coffee. I know there are definitely things that I have become accustomed to doing just bc I know my dad wants it that way. Time to please Joe. :)

busymomof10 said...

Thank you all for your thought-provoking and helpful comments! Your insights add so much to my post!

What a privilege we have to love, serve and seek to please our heavenly Father first and foremost, followed by our earthly fathers, and then our husbands, if God's will for us includes marriage!

Judith said...

Elizaeth, I got the link up and running. Thanks for letting me know. You can go here and linkup:

Just scroll down to near the bottom of the page.

Amy said...

Thank you for this topic, as a daughter growing up in a non-believing household I was never taught or shown to please my dad, although I do believe he was pleased with me it was never a conscious act. Needless to say pleasing the husband in the early days.. Are you for REAL? ;) praise fully He's changed me from the inside out and I have ample opportunity to teach my daughters.

I do try please my husband daily,.

But I don't 'put God first' or 'put husband first'.. I put God in everything, because God is in everything, simultaneously. God is with me, he is in my relationship with my husband, he is in my parenting to the children and every other little thing.
He said to love The Lord your God & love your neighbour as yourself and I see it as something that happens together at the same time not something that is separate.

Baby Blessings said...

The coffee story made me laugh. :o) My husband is like night and day different than my dad. It would have been a huge mistake early in my marriage to even try to put him in that mold. I always enjoy your posts!

Fawn Weaver said...

I consider it my honor to please my husband and it's a focus of mine every day. Thankfully (and gratefully), he feels the same way.

Helene Smith said...

I have two little girls and a whole summer to work on this idea: learning to serve and please their father. Thanks for the encouraging post!

momstheword said...

I love how you are encouraging us to be intentional about this, by thinking about it every morning.

Also love the story you shared! It's so funny and just shows how everyone is different and why we need to LEARN what pleases our hubby and not assume, lol!

Thanks so much for linking up to the Making Your Home Sing Monday linky party! The new one is live and ready for your posts! :)

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