Monday, August 26, 2013

Marriage Monday: How to Build Up Your Marriage During a Crisis {Link Up!}

Welcome back to Marriage Monday! I am still writing from my parent's house in South Carolina, where I have been helping care for my Mom and support my Dad during my Mom's "final weeks of life."  Amazingly, my Mom woke up a "new person" on Thursday, and is now the strongest that she has been the entire four weeks that I've been here!  She is even back to trying a little food, after eating nothing for four weeks!!!  Truly miraculous!  

My sister went home for a bit so she could check on her family, get her kids started in school, and celebrate her 25th wedding anniversary with her man!  :)  So, I am here by myself for at least another week, at which point we plan to switch off.

Today I want to explore the topic -- How can you build up your marriage even during a crisis.  There are many types of crises that a couple might encounter, as they navigate the storms of life together.  Many times these trials tear a marriage apart, as couples lash out at each other instead of clinging to one another and to the Lord during troubled times.

There are many types of crucibles that couples face -- debilitating illness, death of a parent, death of a child, depression, infidelity, rebellious teens, loss of a job, loss of a house, financial reversals, infertility, etc.  If you have a story to share of how you and your husband navigated such a major life upheaval or catastrophe, and would be interested in writing a guest post for this series, please email me!  I'd love to bring in some different perspectives. 

Today, I want to share briefly what we are doing to keep our marriage strong during this time of separation and emotional stress.  Last week, I shared about my husband Going the Extra Mile by coming to visit me for the weekend, and taking me to downtown Greenville for the afternoon, treating me to some soothing gelato, and buying me a colorful new scarf. All of those things made me feel loved, treasured, and refreshed.

Another thing my husband has done over the course of the last year, and even before that, is to encourage me over and over again to come visit my Mom and Dad.  He reminds me often that I have his support to stay here as long as I am needed, and to go back and forth as often as necessary in the months ahead.  

He backs up those words with action!  He has picked up the slack at home from me not being there and has added many of my responsibilities to his overflowing schedule.  He is doing all of the grocery shopping, washing and ironing his work shirts and the boys' church clothes, helping the kids get to their church and homeschool activities, and a whole lot more. Even though I know these extra responsibilities make his days more stressful, he never complains.

He also stays in touch and encourages me through phone calls, emails, and texts.  

His faithful love, his unwavering support, his practical help at home, and his words of comfort and encouragement all help us stay connected and close during this time of separation.  Also, there's one more little thing -- when he came to vist, he brought me one of his soft, comfy shirts to sleep in, which makes me think of him each night when I go to bed!  ;)

Your Turn to Share:

How have you and your husband demonstrated your commitment to each other during the rough times?  How have you stood up to the pressures and challenges of whatever crisis you faced and allowed it to make you better not bitter?  I'd love to hear your story!  Please share by leaving a comment here or over on my Facebook page, so we might all be encouraged and built up as wives!

If you were blessed or encouraged by this post, please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or other social media sites.  Thank you!

Link up:

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to Christian marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog!  Thanks!

marriage mondays

Blogs I link up with from week to week:

What Joy Is Mine

Happy Wives Club


The Alabaster Jar

Courtship Connection

I Choose Joy!


Messy Marriage

Wifey Wednesday button

Missional Women

Please link up your blog post on marriage below by entering the url of your specific post. Where it says "Your Name" enter the title of your blog post, not your personal name! Thanks! :)


Kim Adams Morgan said...

Oh Elizabeth, I'm praying for you and your family. I was on this journey with my Mom in January of 09. All five of us kids and Dad stayed with her for more than two weeks during the end of her life at home. It was one of the most amazing, but also one of the hardest things I've ever done. The ways I saw God move during this time strengthened my faith. There were angels in that room. I was not the only one to experience it.

Chris said...

Elizabeth, As always, thank you for your encouraging post.... Continued prayers for your fam and your mom...AND you. I lost both parents...Dad 20 years ago I (in fact one of my posts is abt him, primarily) and Mom,4 years ago. Caring for them, well, I do know how you feel and my heart breaks for you but I know that you're a constant source of comfort to Mom.

You have a positive and caring manner....


Beth said...

I know for me and my husband that the challenging, hard times are when our love is forged in ways it never would have been if we had had an easy journey. I pray that God is enriching and deepening your love to your man throughout this painful time, Elizabeth. Praying also for your mom that her last days are full of joy and love!

Naomi@What Joy Is Mine said...

Elizabeth...I was just sharing how trying times will come and how our trust in God fills us with peace during those times. Your post is an example of that to me. The way you and your husband are peacefully working it all out during these days. My husband and I have had to walk in those shoes and we are better for the walk. We prayed a lot and took those extra steps to be of service to the other. I pray your marriage will be strengthened during this season of life and for your mom. Thank you for the link up, too, friend.

Jenifer Metzger said...

My husband and I have learned to lean on each other during a crisis. We simply talk to each other and do small random acts for each other. Like if I am going through something he will bring me a treat home when he gets off work, if he is going through something I will write him notes of love and prayers. Just a few things we do.

Thanks for linking up with Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday! God bless!

theministrymama said...

I happened to catch this blog on a link-up. My husband and I have gone through a lot in almost 9 years of marriage. 2 months in we lost our apartment to a fire and lost almost everything we had. My husband then went on to lose jobs several times, continue in his endeavor to finish Bible College while working full-time. We had 2 boys along the way and finally finished our final year of Bible College together. It has been 4 years since we graduated and we have had 2 girls and entered our first work of the ministry since. I have no idea how it has worked, but I know that God was what has binded us together. Faithful church attendance, a regular personal devotional life, and taking time to sit down and talk to each other even when we haven't had the time, has been what we needed. While it has been hard on so many levels, it must be God's unending grace day to day.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I watched my grandparents struggle while they both took care of one of their parents at the end of their lives. The little things can make a world of difference! Keep up your hope!

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