Monday, October 7, 2013

Marriage Monday: Surviving Unemployment {Link up}





Welcome back to Marriage Monday! I hope you are enjoying my series of posts on how to maintain your marriage during a crisis. There are many types of crises that couples might encounter as they navigate the storms of life together.  Many times these trials tear marriages apart, as couples lash out at each other instead of clinging to one another and to the Lord during troubled times.  

Many were blessed by last week's guest post from Amy of Raising Arrows on Surviving the Loss of a Child, which has to be one of the most horrific, heart-wrenching trials for any couple to face. Today, I am fortunate to have another great guest post, this one by Kathie Morrissey from The Character Corner.  Kathie shares how her marriage survived a difficult time of unemployment.  



One of the hardest times in our 35 years of marriage, was the time that my husband was unemployed for a few months. We had only been married for a little over three years, and we had a little daughter, who was 11 months old.

My husband had a good paying driving job, delivering medical supplies. He drove out of the state, and was gone overnight a couple times a week. He had to log his driving time, and was only allowed to drive so many hours a day. After being at this job for awhile, his boss sometimes would ask him to take a longer run, and drive longer than he was supposed to. This meant my husband had to drive illegally, and lie in the log book so that it looked like he was only driving the allowed number of hours each day. My husband didn’t feel right about this, and told his boss that he couldn’t work illegally any more, and would only take short runs. His boss responded by saying that he couldn’t use him any longer.


out of work
 

As a fairly new mom, this was very hard for me! However, my husband and I had discussed it, and we decided that it was the right thing to do. God knew he was quitting the job out of a desire to please the Lord, and to maintain his integrity and testimony. We prayed together about it, and told the Lord that we were going to trust Him to supply a job soon, and in the meantime to supply our needs.

What began as a fearful journey, turned into a blessing! God provided for us in amazing ways, and our faith grew a lot during this time. We learned to depend on God, and were so excited to see Him work and provide. Yes, we had to go without things that we were used to having, and we had to really pinch pennies. However, every time we ran out of food, or needed money for a bill, God came through.

not seen righteous forsaken


One of the hardest times during this unemployment season, was when my Grandma died. We didn’t have money for gas to go to her funeral. My heart was heavy, and sad. My husband held me as I cried. Then he shared with me how God had been teaching him that we shouldn’t just resign ourselves to God’s will, but should be grateful for the hard times. We prayed together and chose to thank God for this trial that He was allowing us to face. This drew us closer together as a couple, as we together chose to respond to this crisis in the right way. (The exciting thing is that the next day someone gave us an envelope with money in it. The amount they gave us was just enough to cover the cost of gas for the trip, so we were able to go to my Grandma’s funeral.)

Looking back, I think there were some things that held us together during this crisis time.

Praying together

Praying together just brings a unity and closeness in any difficulty you are facing as a couple. It helps you both draw closer to God, and keep your eyes on Him, rather than on the crisis.

My respect for his integrity and support of his decision

When he first mentioned to me that he didn’t feel he could keep driving illegally, and that he needed to talk to his boss about it, I have to admit that my inward response was one of fear. I worried that he would lose his job, and that we wouldn’t be able to pay the bills, have money for baby food, diapers, etc. However, I respected him so much for being willing to risk that, and I let him know I would stand behind him, regardless of what might happen. I knew that I was blessed to have a husband who was willing to trust God and obey His promptings to do what he needed to do.

His encouragement to me to trust God

Whenever I would get worried, or discouraged, He would remind me that God was faithful, and we could trust Him. Going to God as our source of strength during this crisis was key to my attitude being right. It would have been very easy for me to turn on my husband for “losing his job”, and get resentful. I could have made him feel really bad for the things he was making me do without, and made comments about him needing to find a job right away, etc. Whenever I felt the wrong thoughts coming, I recognized that as a spiritual attack, and asked God to renew my mind and thoughts. In choosing to go to God, it enabled me to not only stand by my husband and support him during this time, but also to grow closer in our relationship, as together we chose to trust God. 

“I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.“ ~ Psalm 37:25

Crisis times in a marriage can either make or break the relationship. It all depends on the CHOICE you make. Ask God to help you determine to respond right, be supportive of each other, remember that God is in control, and take those difficulties to God in prayer together.


Kathie Morrissey, the mother of 8 children, is a committed homeschooling mom of 28 years. Kathie is the founder of the Character Corner/Courtship Connection, as well as a popular speaker at homeschool conventions and support groups, family seminars, and mother/daughter banquets. She loves to write about parenting, homeschooling, and life in general at her Character Corner blog. Her heart's desire is to help and encourage parents in raising Godly children with strong Christian character. Her seven oldest have graduated from their homeschool, and she continues to teach her youngest son.
  


If you have a marriage that has survived a fiery trial, such as, a debilitating illness, the death of a parent or a child, deep depression, infidelity, loss of a job, loss of a house, financial reversals, infertility, a wayward child, etc., I would love to hear from you! Please email me at elizabeth@yestheyareallours.com with your story!  I plan to feature different stories in the coming weeks!   


Your Turn to Share:

I've heard from many readers who are being blessed by this series and/or who have a story of how their marriage survived great trials and sorrows. Do you have such a story? I encourage you to share from your heart by leaving a comment here on my blog or over on my Facebook page, so we might all be encouraged! You may also email me at elizabeth@yestheyareallours.com to share your testimony/potential guest post.



If you were blessed or encouraged by this post, please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or other social media sites.  Thank you!


Link up:

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to Christian marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog!  Thanks!


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Blogs I link up with from week to week:

What Joy Is Mine

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TheBetterMom.com



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Courtship Connection










































I Choose Joy!




Wise-Woman-Builds

Messy Marriage















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Please link up your blog post on marriage below by entering the url of your specific post. Where it says "Your Name" enter the title of your blog post, not your personal name! Thanks! :)

13 comments:

Cheryl said...

Thank you for your wonderful blog! So happy to have found you! Love & Blessings, Cheryl

Kim Adams Morgan said...

It is so amazing to see God at work providing your needs. We were able to see this early on in our marriage when our faith was renewed in baptism. It is an incredible feeling. Stopping in from Monday Musings.

Elizabeth said...

Welcome Cheryl!!

Chris said...

Thank you so much for hosting, Elizabeth and thank you for this lovely guest piece....

God bless

84829942-3a88-11e0-83da-000bcdcb5194 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ella said...

Thank you for this post. Right now we are in a financial "perfect storm" that I honestly cannot see our way out of. We make enough money that we don't qualify for help and not enough to handle the boulders being thrown our way right now. Someone tried to convince my husband that we could get the help we need if we just told a couple of "little" lies. We both immediately agreed we would NOT go that direction. I don't know what we ARE going to do... but lying is simply not an option. Thank you for the wonderful post!

busymomof10 said...

Thanks for sharing, Ella! My heart goes out to you because I've certainly been there! Have you read my posts on our Christmas Miracle?? It starts here:
http://www.yestheyareallours.com/2013/02/our-christmas-miracle-part-1.html

There is nothing more important than keeping your integrity and casting yourself on the Lord and His mercies! Praying you will also get a miracle!

Jenifer Metzger said...

God honored him for his honesty! Love it!

Thanks for linking up with Word Filled Wednesday! God bless!

Beth said...

My husband and I went through a similar season in our marriage where he was out of work and we didn't know if we'd be able to pay for our living expenses, Kathie. And like your situation, God always provided at just the right time the right amount of money. Those lean times were faith-building years for us as a couple--drawing us closer to God and each other. It sounds like they did the same thing for your marriage, Kathie. And thanks so much for sharing Kathie's story with us, Elizabeth. It's very inspiring!

Christa Sterken said...

Glad you are writing about this, being out of work was one of the hardest times in our marriage!

Mel Caldicott said...

This is a great testimony with such encouragement to couples who are faithfully trusting God in the midst of hardship.

I have experienced times like this and still am to some degree and although we have had some very bumpy times it has strengthened my marriage and my relationship with God.

Thanks for linking up at Essential Fridays.
Blessings
Mel from Essential Thing Devotions & Connect With God

Dakota122503 said...

This is timely for me, my husband and I have been married for 13 years. Over the past three years (yes three VERY LONG YEARS) my husband has been searching for full-time work. When he lost his full-time job we had a 6mo old and a 2 and 4 year old. We have since moved halfway across the country (loosing our brakes at the halfway point), had another baby, faced an infection that landed me in the hospital for 8 days with an emergency surgery, had an emergency C-section of our 4th child and faced the challenge of providing for a family of 6 at 50% below poverty level(I'm just sharing the highlights- these past three years have been really unbelievable at times with the level of constant battery we have faced) Saying it's been a challenge is definitely an understatement and learning how God provides for our needs, and how humbling it is to constantly be in need, has certainly been the most incredible difficult season of our lives. God has provided in some pretty incredible ways, and yet to say that we aren't weary, and sometimes broken, would simply be untrue. But thankfully, God prepared us for this season in our marriage by knitting us together more strongly in the years before it started, and because of that time of strengthening, we have grown closer and into more of a team during crisis after crisis. But I'm still praying for a season of peace to fall upon us soon! =)

Judith Kowles said...

I appreciated this post from Kathie. About 18 years ago, my husband lost his job because the facility closed down. God sustained us during that time and he ended up getting a much better job. Our marriage has also been sustained through an extremely difficult time with a wayward daughter and two wayward sons. Each child has to make their own choice as to whom they will serve. I will serve the Lord Jesus Christ victoriously no matter the choices of some of my children.

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