Monday, February 10, 2014

Marriage Monday: The Admiring Wife {Link up}

Welcome back to Marriage Monday!  I'm so glad you've joined me as we focus on strengthening and promoting godly marriages, both in our nation and in our own backyards!

I started off the year sharing some thoughts on being an Abiding Wife. After that I discussed the importance of being a Respectful Wife, and then last week, I explored how essential it is that we quit trying to change our husbands and learn to become an Accepting Wife. I plan to explore different aspects of being a godly wife in the weeks ahead.

Today I want to talk about the amazing power in learning to be an Admiring Wife.

Our husbands crave admiration and respect! It is their greatest need! Yet, we as wives so often fall into the trap of trying to change our husbands, trying to make them be like our fathers or some other man we admire, criticizing them, belittling them, and tearing them down. This destroys a man and a marriage faster than anything else!  

Sadly, this scenario is repeated over and over in marriages everywhere, leaving men starved for admiration and respect and leaving women longing for tenderness and love.

Women are surprised to discover that they often have the power to transform their marriages by simply learning to respect and admire their husbands!  It may sound too good to be true, but men soak up admiration like a sponge, and are so grateful for it, that they respond to the woman who gives it to them with love, tenderness, and affection. 

Take this as a warning:  if you don't build up your man with words of admiration and praise, he will be vulnerable to another woman's admiration!

Proverbs 7:21 - With her enticing speech she caused him to yield, with her flattering lips she seduced him.

How to become an Admiring Wife:

1. Start by making a list of your husband's skills, abilities and virtues. If you can't think of any, think about what attracted you to him in the first place, or take note of what others may praise him for. 

2. Begin praising him for one or more of those qualities each and every day. If you are in a habit of tearing him down, this may feel awkward at first, but with a little practice, it will soon become natural!

3. Train your eyes to notice his good qualities and the things he does well. If you're in the habit of noticing and magnifying his every fault, it will take a bit of reprogramming, but it can be done!

4. Make sure you are praising him for masculine traits! Men don't take as much satisfaction out of being admired for feminine traits, so make sure you especially notice his manly skills and abilities. 

5. Look for ways to brag on him a bit in front of others or even on Facebook! Of course, you don't want to overdo it or have it come across as fake, but just remember that public praise is double praise!

6. Appreciate the job he does and the way he works hard for the family. Praise him for any special accomplishments, awards, or recognition he has achieved in his career. Express your confidence in his ability to excel in his field.

7. Listen to and support your husband's goals and dreams. Never shoot them down, even if they seem unrealistic to you!  Instead, just listen and let him dream, or try to help him find practical ways to accomplish them.

8. Let your husband know that you respect and admire his leadership and that you trust him to lead and guide your family. If this strikes fear in your heart, double your prayers for your husband! Ask God to give him wisdom and discernment as he makes decisions for the family. Never criticize or undermine his decisions or take over as head of the family.  That may have been your habit in the past, but that chapter is over - don't go back and reread it!  ;)

9. Men are sensitive about their looks, so be sure to admire your man's muscles and his masculine body! Admire his handsome good looks or his sexy legs or his strength or speed! 

10. Express your admiration in non-verbal ways too -- a smile, a look of approval on your face, a loving touch, etc.  The way you look at him speaks volumes!

Are you ready to take on the challenge of learning to admire your husband!? Start today - don't let your husband go to sleep tonight until he has been blessed by your admiration and sincere words of praise!!

{To read more about admiring your husband, check out this post I wrote in 2012.}

Your Turn to Share:

I'd love to hear stories of how learning to accept and admire your husband unlocks his love and affection for you! Please leave a comment here on my blog or over on my Facebook page, so we might all be encouraged! You may also email me at if you wish to share a private testimony.

If you were blessed or encouraged by this post, please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or other social media sites.  Thank you!

Link up:

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to Christian marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog!  Thanks!

marriage mondays

Blogs I link up with from week to week:

What Joy Is MinePhotobucket


a-wise-woman-builds-her-home   I Choose Joy!     

   Wifey Wednesday button Wholehearted Wednesday

 A Little R & R   Messy Marriage

Proverbs 31 Link Up       

Please link up your blog post on marriage below by entering the url of your specific post. Where it says "Your Name" enter the title of your blog post, not your personal name! Thanks! :)


Katherine Swing said...

Oh, thanks for sharing this today! I find that I compare my city man to the farmer men I grew up with. They have different ways of approaching the world, but only one of those ways do I understand, and so I try to change him... and it has never ended well. These ideas, these pointers, these challenges - thank you for them!

Lisha said...

What a helpful post! I've not been good about admiring Will out loud - there is so much I inwardly admire but just assume he knows what I'm thinking (I know, I know...that doesn't work very well! :P ) I'm slowly getting better at being vocal about what I love about him.

Thanks for hosting the link-up, and for encouraging other wives in the Lord :)


Chris said...

Amazing tips...great post, Elizabeth!

Thank you!

And thanks for hsiting

Rashel Blank said...

Thank you for this post and the encouraging reminder. I hope you don't mind that I linked up some of my older posts that I thought were appropriately related to your post.

busymomof10 said...

Thanks so much, friends, for the positive feedback and for linking up great posts! May the Lord enable each of us to accept and admire and respect our own husbands! :)

emilysestuary said...

Thank you for always humbling me.

emilysestuary said...

Thank you for always humbling me.

AmberRay said...

As someone whom had to learn how to be submissive and respectful to her husband.... I find it works wonders, it really helps the husband to learn how to love you! While you are both learning how to love like Yahshua. I prayed for wisdom and discernment on how to be a better wife and Yahweh showed me! These tips are excellent and they do work. I have done most of them and it has truly helped our marriage. Great post!

Tracey Brewer said...

Love this list! I definitely agree that praising your husband publicly earns "extra points!" I already seek to do many of these things, but I appreciate the reminder to make admiring my husband a priority in our relationship.

momstheword said...

This is a wonderful post! I love that you are encouraging us to do this, because not only will it bless our husbands, it will bless our marriage.

When the kids were younger, I had to watch myself to make sure that I wasn't viewing or treating my husband like he was another child of mine to take care of! When we do that, it can change how we think of our husbands, and not in a positive way!

I like to tell my husband things verbally but also like to write little notes or sometime just send him a private note on facebook! But I think a verbal affirmation is best as that is his love language. Thanks for hosting today!

Beth said...

I really, really love these, Elizabeth! I like it so much I'm going to share it on FB and to my marriage prayer group. Thanks for sharing and sorry it's taken me so long to visit here this past week!

busymomof10 said...

Thanks Beth for sharing this post with your followers on Facebook and with your marriage group! That means a lot to me! :)

Thank you all for the positive feedback and encouraging words!

WholeHearted Home Judith Kowles said...

I just really appreciated this post, Elizabeth. This was amazing. Thanks for linking up with me.

Frank Silver said...
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