Monday, August 25, 2014

Marriage Monday: The Feminine Wife {Link up}

Welcome back to Marriage Monday!  I'm so glad you've joined me as we focus on strengthening and promoting godly marriages, both in our nation and in our own backyards. 

Since the beginning of the year we've been looking at the characteristics of the godly wife. Today I want to take at look at the feminine wife. 

Due to the overwhleming influence of the feminist movement on modern culture, we have almost totally lost the concept of femininity.  We now live in a unisex culture where clothing, roles, and even marital partners are seen as interchangeable.  

However, God, in His infinite wisdom, created mankind as male and female.

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created He them."  ~ Genesis 1:27

"And God saw every thing that he had made, and behold, it was very good."  ~ Genesis 1:31

Masculinity and femininity are good and normal and right.  They are designed by God and reflect the full spectrum of His characteristics, while a unisex society of interchangeable genders is a perversion of God's design.

As we've already discussed here in previous weeks, the quickest way to a man's heart is to respect and admire his masculine qualities.  While it may be popular to do so, criticizing, ridiculing, or teasing our man in the sensitive area of his manliness is the quickest way to destroy our relationship!  Men are vulnerable when it comes to their masculinity, and nothing makes them feel more masculine than being appreciated and admired by a feminine woman!

In spite of our current cultural conditioning, most men are naturally drawn to feminine women.  When women are feminine, and somewhat vulnerable and fragile, it tends to encourage the protective side of men.  (This is something that needs much encouragement in this day of violent, irresponsible men!) 

Deep down inside, most women still desire to be wildly loved and cherished by the man of their dreams. All but hard-core feminists still find it desirable to be treasured by and spoiled by a man that they love.  

Sadly, women have been conditioned by society to believe and communicate (both verbally and nonverbally) that they don't need a man and that they are better than the poor male "species" in every way. They are encouraged to be tough and independent and self-sufficient. What this has done is taken away the incentive that men once had to overcome their base tendencies to use women for their own desires and to be lazy and self-serving by rising up and protecting and providing for a woman and her children.

Caution: Don't take my words too far to an extreme -- I'm not saying that women should be totally subservient and dependent on men.  There is certainly a healthy degree of competence and independence for women to have. But, our culture has obvioulsy let the pendulum swing way too far in the opposite direction!  When women are feminine and somewhat vulnerable and fragile, they tend to encourage the protective side of men.

Unfortunately, most women have been so brainwashed and conditioned by the feminist agenda, that we don't even know what it means to be feminine and we may even bristle at the thought of developing some feminine qualities that were standard in times past!!

What are some feminine qualities that men find attractive and desirable in women?  Generally speaking, men are attracted to:

  • long, flowing hair
  • natural looking make up and hair colors
  • soft, feminine clothing
  • soft, nicely manicured hands
  • sweetness and innocence 
  • carefree charm
  • a sunny disposition
  • tenderness
  • gentleness
  • gracefulness
  • womanly figure with feminine curves 
  • gentle, kind speech 

Some "masculine" traits to avoid:

  • ultra-short manly haircut
  • rough hands with chewed fingernails
  • tailored, masucline clothing styles
  • sloppy "sweats" and t-shirts
  • unkempt, slovenly appearance
  • sitting and standing like a man
  • rough, coarse language
  • telling dirty jokes
  • smoking
  • overly loud, boisterous voice or laugh
  • speaking harshly or with excessive sarcasm
  • excessively thin or excessively heavy body

It is so easy to fall into the habit of doing what is easy or comfortable and neglecting our appearance, and yet, our husbands do like to take pride in their wives' appearance and femininity.  We should do what we can to be attractive for our husbands and to dress and wear our hair and carry ourselves in a way that pleases them. Generally, we choose our clothes and hairstyles based on what pleases ourselves or our girl friends.  How often do we consult our husbands about such matters??  And, if we ask them, are they afraid to tell us the truth because we will react violently??  We may argue that what our husbands like isn't "fashionable".  I don't think most men care that much about the latest fashion trends, but they do care about how we dress and carry ourselves.  Do we care enough to find out what they really think??

Homework Assignment:  Are you up for some homework?  Your assignment for this week, if you choose to accept it, is to ask you husband to tell you honestly how he likes you to wear your hair, and what clothing styles he likes, etc. You must promise yourself ahead of time that you won't argue with what he tells you!  Have some ducktape handy, if need be, but don't react to what he tells you!  Just listen and apply your new found knowledge!  

All of the posts in this series have been designed to help you build your marriage and to be a strong, confident, suitable helpmeet who is an asset to your husband. Use this list to catch up on any posts you may have missed.

The Abiding Wife

The Respectful Wife

The Accepting Wife

The Admiring Wife

The Supportive Wife

The Humble Wife

The Grateful Wife

The Joyful Wife

The Content Wife

The Trustworthy Wife

The Kind Wife

The Sympathetic Wife

The Pure Wife

The Serene Wife

The Celebrating Wife

The Wise Wife

The Wife as a Suitable Helper

The Diligent Wife

The Sensible Wife

The Discreet Wife

The Homeworking Wife, part 1 

The Homeworking Wife, part 2

The Obedient Wife

Understanding Submission vs. Obedience

Ten Traps to Avoid as You Strive to be a Submissive Wife

Your Turn to Share:

Are you a feminine wife?  How important do you think it is to cultivate femininity? Do you dress and wear your hair to please your husband, your friends, or yourself?  If you chose to accept the homework assignment, what did you learn about what your husband likes and dislikes?  Did it surprise you?  I'd love to hear your thoughts on being a feminine wife!  Please leave a comment here on my blog or over on my Facebook page, so we might all be encouraged! You may also email me at if you wish to share a private testimony or a guest post.

If you were blessed or encouraged by this post, please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or other social media sites.  Thank you!

Link up:

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to Christian marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog!  Thanks!

marriage mondays

Blogs I link up with from week to week:

What Joy Is MinePhotobucket Making Your Home Sing Monday!  

Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth


a-wise-woman-builds-her-home         Messy Marriage      Mom's Morning Coffee

    Wholehearted Wednesday     A Little R & R

Proverbs 31 Link Up  

     Graced Simplicity

Hearts for Home Blog Hop   Hope In Every Season       Faith Along the Way

Please link up your blog post on marriage below by entering the url of your specific post.  Where it says "Your Name" enter the title of your blog post, not your personal name!  Thanks!  :)


Kim Adams Morgan said...

I love your tips and agree with what men think is attractive/unattractive. I really don't like the direction in which our world is headed. It is frightening.

Caromama said...

My husband likes a smiling happy wife. He also hates tomatoes and tomato sauce. Who knew?

Angie Abella said...

My husband appreciates my non-manicured hands, as they do lots of work that eats the paint off the nails and snarles the tips. My hands are calloused, as are my feet, from long hours of hands on work. My hair stays pulled back and twisted into a clip or bun, as it is in the way of housework needs. He desires I wear a certain type of modest dress, and I try to accommodate by making the items myself. He even chooses fabrics he finds appealing, and they are the most beautiful soft shades of colors and pretty florals you would not expect to find from a male. He does not expect me polished up like a model, he expects me to be prepared for the day's work, keeping the home and cooking, sewing for our needs, and so on. He doesn't expect pearls and lace, pumps and so on...and I'm grateful.

Elizabeth said...

Angie, it sounds like you are a truly rare and exquisitely beautiful woman who blesses your husband and your family! Your husband is a blessed man indeed! Thanks for sharing!

emilysestuary said...

As always I love your marriage monday posts.
I need to read more of your blog posts.
You are such a joy and blessing Ms. Elizabeth.


Pamela said...

Love your lists. It's easy to see the contrasts with them. Yes, we've lost our way as feminine women. I'm thankful for a mother who modeled it. Thank you for providing marriage material. ~Pamela

Beth said...

I do know that my hubby likes my curls and often encourages me to stay away from styles that require straightening my hair--which is fine with me because it's so hard to keep it straight in these humid days of summer. His appreciation for my curls has helped me to embrace and appreciate my hair much more than I used to. I was a child of the seventies and eighties where straight hair was the desirable standard. I think it's really important, Elizabeth to cultivate and maintain our femininity. It's a lost art in our culture and we are suffering because of it. Thanks for this and I'll be back to Marriage Monday's link ups soon (sometime in September). :)

Pocha huntas said...
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