Welcome back to Marriage Monday! I'm so glad you've joined me as we focus on strengthening and promoting godly marriages, both in our nation and in our own backyards.
Since the beginning of the year we've been looking at the characteristics of the godly wife. Today I want to take at look at the feminine wife.
Due to the overwhleming influence of the feminist movement on modern culture, we have almost totally lost the concept of femininity. We now live in a unisex culture where clothing, roles, and even marital partners are seen as interchangeable.
However, God, in His infinite wisdom, created mankind as male and female.
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created He them." ~ Genesis 1:27
"And God saw every thing that he had made, and behold, it was very good." ~ Genesis 1:31
Masculinity and femininity are good and normal and right. They are designed by God and reflect the full spectrum of His characteristics, while a unisex society of interchangeable genders is a perversion of God's design.
As we've already discussed here in previous weeks, the quickest way to a man's heart is to respect and admire his masculine qualities. While it may be popular to do so, criticizing, ridiculing, or teasing our man in the sensitive area of his manliness is the quickest way to destroy our relationship! Men are vulnerable when it comes to their masculinity, and nothing makes them feel more masculine than being appreciated and admired by a feminine woman!
In spite of our current cultural conditioning, most men are naturally drawn to feminine women. When women are feminine, and somewhat vulnerable and fragile, it tends to encourage the protective side of men. (This is something that needs much encouragement in this day of violent, irresponsible men!)
Deep down inside, most women still desire to be wildly loved and cherished by the man of their dreams. All but hard-core feminists still find it desirable to be treasured by and spoiled by a man that they love.
Sadly, women have been conditioned by society to believe and communicate (both verbally and nonverbally) that they don't need a man and that they are better than the poor male "species" in every way. They are encouraged to be tough and independent and self-sufficient. What this has done is taken away the incentive that men once had to overcome their base tendencies to use women for their own desires and to be lazy and self-serving by rising up and protecting and providing for a woman and her children.
Caution: Don't take my words too far to an extreme -- I'm not saying that women should be totally subservient and dependent on men. There is certainly a healthy degree of competence and independence for women to have. But, our culture has obvioulsy let the pendulum swing way too far in the opposite direction! When women are feminine and somewhat vulnerable and fragile, they tend to encourage the protective side of men.
Unfortunately, most women have been so brainwashed and conditioned by the feminist agenda, that we don't even know what it means to be feminine and we may even bristle at the thought of developing some feminine qualities that were standard in times past!!
What are some feminine qualities that men find attractive and desirable in women? Generally speaking, men are attracted to:
- long, flowing hair
- natural looking make up and hair colors
- soft, feminine clothing
- soft, nicely manicured hands
- sweetness and innocence
- carefree charm
- a sunny disposition
- womanly figure with feminine curves
- gentle, kind speech
Some "masculine" traits to avoid:
- ultra-short manly haircut
- rough hands with chewed fingernails
- tailored, masucline clothing styles
- sloppy "sweats" and t-shirts
- unkempt, slovenly appearance
- sitting and standing like a man
- rough, coarse language
- telling dirty jokes
- overly loud, boisterous voice or laugh
- speaking harshly or with excessive sarcasm
- excessively thin or excessively heavy body
It is so easy to fall into the habit of doing what is easy or comfortable and neglecting our appearance, and yet, our husbands do like to take pride in their wives' appearance and femininity. We should do what we can to be attractive for our husbands and to dress and wear our hair and carry ourselves in a way that pleases them. Generally, we choose our clothes and hairstyles based on what pleases ourselves or our girl friends. How often do we consult our husbands about such matters?? And, if we ask them, are they afraid to tell us the truth because we will react violently?? We may argue that what our husbands like isn't "fashionable". I don't think most men care that much about the latest fashion trends, but they do care about how we dress and carry ourselves. Do we care enough to find out what they really think??
Homework Assignment: Are you up for some homework? Your assignment for this week, if you choose to accept it, is to ask you husband to tell you honestly how he likes you to wear your hair, and what clothing styles he likes, etc. You must promise yourself ahead of time that you won't argue with what he tells you! Have some ducktape handy, if need be, but don't react to what he tells you! Just listen and apply your new found knowledge!
All of the posts in this series have been designed to help you build your marriage and to be a strong, confident, suitable helpmeet who is an asset to your husband. Use this list to catch up on any posts you may have missed.
The Abiding Wife
The Respectful Wife
The Accepting Wife
The Admiring Wife
The Supportive Wife
The Humble Wife
The Grateful Wife
The Joyful Wife
The Content Wife
The Trustworthy Wife
The Kind Wife
The Sympathetic Wife
The Pure Wife
The Serene Wife
The Celebrating Wife
The Wise Wife
The Wife as a Suitable Helper
The Diligent Wife
The Sensible Wife
The Discreet Wife
The Homeworking Wife, part 1
The Homeworking Wife, part 2
The Obedient Wife
Understanding Submission vs. Obedience
Ten Traps to Avoid as You Strive to be a Submissive Wife
Your Turn to Share:
Are you a feminine wife? How important do you think it is to cultivate femininity? Do you dress and wear your hair to please your husband, your friends, or yourself? If you chose to accept the homework assignment, what did you learn about what your husband likes and dislikes? Did it surprise you? I'd love to hear your thoughts on being a feminine wife! Please leave a comment here on my blog or over on my Facebook page, so we might all be encouraged! You may also email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you wish to share a private testimony or a guest post.
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