Monday, March 2, 2015

Marriage Monday: Project P31 - Doing Your Husband Good {Link up}

Welcome back to Marriage Monday!  I'm so glad you've joined me as we focus on strengthening and promoting godly marriages, both in our nation and in our own backyards. 

Recently, I introduced a new series for wives (and future wives) based on the ideal wife of Proverbs 31. It is both fun and challenging to look at this passage verse by verse and then examine our own lives and look for practical ways to apply these timeless principles. Please join me each Monday for the next 19 weeks as we examine the character and wisdom of this noble woman and learn how we can each become a Model P31! 

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.  ~ Proverbs 31:12

I encourage you to read this verse a few times and let it sink in. The P31 will do her husband good all the days of her life! There are so many treasures to dig out of this verse!  I can't wait to get started!  :)

First of all, I love reading verses I'm trying to understand in the Amplified Bible. The meaning is so . . . amplified!  ;)

She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her. ~ Proverbs 31:12 (Amplified Bible)

So, she does her husband good. What does that mean? Good is such an over-used word that we read it without any emotion or illumination.  What does it mean to be a good wife?  I have blogged about the Good Wife in the past, so you might enjoy reading that post here.

I love what author Elizabeth George says about the good wife in her book, Beautiful in God's Eyes:  
Hers is a heart of goodness! How refreshing in this day of selfishness -- of self-centeredness, self-esteem, self-image and self-assertion -- to come across a selfless spring of goodness. No wonder this woman is beautiful in God's eyes! But how is her heart of goodness demonstrated?  . . . She operates her life and his home in a way that routinely benefits him with good. Her waking prayer each day is to do her dear husband good -- to love him, serve him, honor him, advance him, spoil him, and ease his life.
Wow! If we could just live that out in our homes, there would be no further need for blog posts on marriage!  :)  Just think what marriages and homes all across our land would look like if every wife had that vision for her husband and her home?  Yes, I know there would still be a few scoundrels out there, but for the most part, men can't resist a wife like that!! That kind of goodness inspires them to treasure such a woman!  And isn't that what we want? To be treasured and spoiled by our husbands??  We hold the key to such a relationship when we focus on loving, serving, honoring, and spoiling our own husbands!! 

So, the model P31 should do her husband good, which is a challenge in itself, but there's more.  This verse specifically states, "and not evil."  What does that mean?  According to, the Hebrew word means, "bad, disagreeable, malignant."  Malignant?  That sounds like cancer!  That immediately makes me think of this verse:

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband; but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. ~ Proverbs 12:4

What a horrible thought -- that we as wives can be like a cancer eating away at our husbands!!

I quote once again from author Elizabeth George:
God's beautiful woman of Proverbs 31 experiences the same temptations toward evil that you and I do, but -- by God's grace -- she stands strong against them. At every opportunity to give in to selfishness, resentment, anger, disapproval, or disagreement, she perseveres against evil and instead chooses to follow after God's plan to do her husband good -- not evil.
Wow!  Isn't that a beautiful challenge??

I think we all desire to do our husbands good when we first join our hearts and lives together, and yet selfishness often gets in the way!  I've discovered that Satan sets traps for us.  I call these traps the 4 C's:  Comparison, Criticism, Covetousness, and Contention.  

This is what happens -- we start comparing our husbands, our homes, our lives with others we know.  This creates a critical spirit toward our own husbands, and a spirit of covetousness towards others.  The result is we become a contentious wife!

It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and an angry woman.  ~ Proverbs 21:19

When we fall into the trap of being contentious and angry women, we are doing our husbands evil and not good, which is as rottenness in their bones, and we are tearing down our homes as the Bible warns against!

Every wise woman buildeth her house, but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.  ~ Proverbs 14:1

So, it is imperative that we focus on doing our husbands good, and not evil. The next part of our verse says, "all the days of her life."

We don't just do our husbands good for the first ten years of our marriage, or as long he is treating us well, or as long as our needs are being met.  We don't even do our husbands good as long as he is alive.  We are instructed to do good to our husbands as long as we are alive!!! 

Wow! How is that even possible?  By continuing to build his reputation and honor by our good works and the positive way we speak of him all the days of our lives!!

There is a lot more to this verse than first meets the eye, don't you think??  I don't know about you, but I have a few things to work on!  ;)

Especially for Single P31s:

If you are still waiting and longing for a husband that you can do good to, did you know that this verse totally applies to you now?  As we just examined, this verse says to do good to your husband all the days of your life.

If you are alive right now, you can be doing good to your future husband by saving yourself for him, physically and emotionally, and by preparing yourself to be a virtuous wife! The fact that you are reading this post as a single woman shows you are on the right track!

You will find many opportunities to practice good works in your home, church and community.  You can also practice dying to self, learning the art of contentment, and avoiding those deadly 4 C's!  Even as a single young woman, you can become ensnared by comparison, criticism, covetousness and contentiousness!  If you conquer those deadly C's now, you'll be in a great position to do your future husband good all the days of your life!

Project P31, Mission #3:

Our mission for this week to examine our actions and attitudes to determine if we are doing our husbands good or evil?  Are we practicing contentment and unselfishness or are we letting ourselves be ensnared by comparison, criticism, covetousness and contentiousness?  Are we building up our husbands and our homes or tearing them down? What good works characterize our lives? What about the words we speak?  Do our words do good or evil to our husband's reputation?

Wow!  There's a lot to work on from just one verse!  What areas do you need to work on as you strive to be a Model P31 who does her husband good, and not evil, all the days or your life?

Your Turn to Share:

I hope you'll take time to complete your mission for this week and share your thoughts here!  Please leave a comment here on my blog or over on my Facebook page, so we might all be encouraged! You may also email me at if you wish to share a private testimony or a guest post.

If you were blessed or encouraged by this post, please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or other social media sites.  Thank you!

Link up:

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to Christian marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog!  Thanks!

marriage mondays

NOTE:  Please link up your blog post on marriage below by entering the url of your specific post.  Where it says "Your Name" enter the title of your blog post, not your personal name!  Thanks!

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