Monday, August 24, 2015

Marriage Monday: Project P31: Speaking with Wisdom and Kindness

Welcome back to Marriage Monday!  I'm so glad you've joined me as we focus on strengthening and promoting godly marriages, both in our nation and in our own backyards.  {The need for this has never been greater!}

Today I am continuing my series for wives (and future wives) based on the ideal wife of Proverbs 31. It is both fun and challenging to look at this passage verse by verse and then examine our own lives and look for practical ways to apply these timeless principles. Please join me each Monday as we continue to examine the character and wisdom of this noble woman and learn how we can each become a Model P31! 

She openeth her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
~ Proverbs 31:26

This verse is short and sweet, easy to understand, and extremely difficult to live out!

Elizabeth George gets to the heart of the matter in Beautiful in God's Eyes:

Being committed to our home, running the household in an organized manner, excelling in meal preparation and homemaking, supporting our husband's advancement, giving generously to charity, and bringing in an income are all easy -- compared to opening our mouth with wisdom and kindness. Why do I say that? Because actions are external, but speech is a matter of the heart: "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45)

While an ungodly woman lets angry, contentious, sarcastic, slanderous words spill from her mouth, the virtuous woman must carefully guard her lips, and her heart, where her words originate!  Her words should always be governed by both wisdom and kindness!  

Not only that, but her words should be measured!  Notice that the verse says, "opened her mouth!"  That implies that her mouth is shut at least some of the time!  ;) She's not one of those women that you avoid, because you know if you even say "Hello," you'll be stuck in a conversation for the next 45 minutes!  Some women amaze me with their ability to talk continuously without even pausing to take a breath!  ;) 

Our model P31 speaks wisely and kindly.  That means if she has nothing kind or wise to say, she learns to keep her mouth shut!  :) She has learned to listen more than she talks.

Here are some guidelines that every P31 should let govern her speech:

1. Speak only what is wise and kind. The result is you will only speak when you have something worth saying, and you will say it in the right way.  (Proverbs 31:26)

2. Think before you speak. "The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil." (Proverbs 15:28)  Speaking rashly always gets us in trouble!

3. Answer softly. Our natural tendency is to let the tone of our words match the tone which was used in speaking to us. It takes great self-control to answer softly when spoken to angrily. "A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1)

4. Avoid talking too much.  Most of us like to talk, but we need to learn to restrain our lips!  :) "In the multitude of words, sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise."  (Proverbs 10:19)

5. Listen more than you talk. "Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath." (James 1:19)

6. Maintain pure speech.  "For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret." (Ephesians 5:12)  " . . .neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks." (Ephesians 5:4)

7. Speak the truth. "Therefore, putting away lying, Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor." (Ephesians 4:25)

8. Use gracious words. "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one." (Colossians 4:6)

9. Build up others with your words. "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." (Ephesians 4:29)  "Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another." (Romans 14:19)

10. Use pleasant, healing words.  "Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones."  (Proverbs 16:24)

Wow! The Bible has a lot to say about our words, doesn't it??  

Especially for Single P31s:

Learning to control our tongues is a life-long battle. Please don't wait until you are married to learn to speak with wisdom and kindness!  :)  

Project P31, Mission #16:

Time for a new assignment! 

Pay attention to your words.  Do the majority of your words fit into the guidelines above?  If not, consider your thoughts. Since our words reflect what is in our hearts and minds, You may have to dig a bit deeper to take control of what comes out of your mouth!

Pick one of the above categories to start working on. You may want to memorize the associated verse to help you as you seek to gain control over your speech!  

Your Turn to Share:

I hope you'll take time to complete your mission for this week and share your thoughts here!  What is your weakness when it comes to your speech?  Which area are you choosing to work on first?

Please leave a comment here on my blog or over on my Facebook page, so we might all be encouraged! You may also email me at if you wish to share a private testimony or a guest post.

If you were blessed or encouraged by this post, please consider sharing it with your friends on Facebook or other social media sites.  Thank you!

Link up:

I'd love to have you link up your blog to mine!  Please link up any past or present posts related to Christian marriage.  Don't forget to link back to my blog!  Thanks!

marriage mondays

NOTE:  Please link up your blog post on marriage below by entering the url of your specific post.  Where it says "Your Name" enter the title of your blog post, not your personal name!  Thanks!


bnfunky said...

This can be a tough one for me! I don't know why sometimes it is so easy to just let my words get the best of me. I need to meditate on this chapter every week! It never gets old, and there's always something new to learn and emulate. Thanks for sharing!

Cheryl said...

I absolutely LOVED this post. There is so much wisdom here! I have recently been in a severe physical affliction that has caused problems with my tongue. God has dealt with me MUCH concerning the words I say and how I say them, but also the deeper issue that causes them...the root is in the heart. As you mentioned, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh. What makes us say what we say? It is a heart issue that needs to be dealt with...oh, my, I could go on and on about how God is working with me through this intense battle. I would so appreciate your prayers, and I can't thank you enough for your faithfulness to speak what God lays upon your heart. It is so needful, and you are loved and appreciated!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...